Cutter's Musings

Not this again - Furloughs and OUS vs OPEU

2011-09-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a while back regarding furloughs the during last go around with the University. Now we are here again, and sure enough, our Union is arguing AGAINST furloughs. WHY? It is financially better for us to take them - in fact, the majority of folks can simply cash out vacation, and only lose ONE day's pay if they are desperate, or wait and make money on what is essentially a 'loan to the state at ~5%'. I cannot believe that our Union doesn't understand this; more amazing, I cannot believe that OUS is foolish enough to ask this of us again. Can no one do math???

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I think there has been a mistake. A financial one, a bit obscure, but real dollars. In full disclosure, I am a classified state employee and a finance student (now graduate) at Oregon State University.

Quick background, in early fall 2009 the State reached an agreement with the OPEU regarding a contract for OUS employees similar to DAS. In the contract, the Union agreed to a specific number of furlough days in the next two years, and a one year wage freeze. This concession was in order to save the state much needed dollars over that time and prevent layoffs.

This could have in fact saved the University System money… but here is where the mistake came in. Thus far, academic employees and managers, not represented by the Union, haven’t agreed to match these wage reductions or furloughs. Immaterial to the argument except in one specific way: it allowed a mistake in how the furloughs were administered. This is key.

Currently, employees, based on pay levels, are required to take a fixed number of furlough days (days off unpaid) each fiscal year for the next two years. However, they are being allowed to take them WHENEVER THEY WANT. As such, employees are allowed to essentially substitute furlough time for time when they would have taken vacation. Full time employees earn a day of vacation each month, so the lowest and highest paid union employee will earn and typically use more vacation days a year than required furlough days (4 required for the lowest paid full time and 7 for the highest). As such, at the end of the two-year period, at minimum the employee will have an extra 8 vacation days on the books.

This is critical and where the mistake lies: vacation days are a paid benefit. They represent either paid effort not received, or cash back to an employee upon leaving. They do not depreciate as wages increase – 8 hours earned while making $10/hr is still 8 hours years later when making $20/hr. Thus, in essence, vacation time becomes MORE valuable to the employee AND a higher cost to the state.

So, why is this important – by allowing employees to use furlough days instead of vacation days, employees can bank those vacation hours. This is in effect allowing employees to BUY vacation days at current wage cost, i.e. if one makes $15/hr, and loses 4 days wages, they give up that wage for 4 days. However, in a year, they will have four extra days vacation saved, which will then reflect their newer salary.

How does that add up? Lets say a daily wage is $200 ($25/hr). I am required to sacrifice 5 days this next year, or $1000 in savings to the state. However, I use it in place of vacation days, so I now have 5 extra days of vacation (earned at $25/hr). Once the wage freeze is lifted, I will again receive my negotiated step increase of 4.75% a year. So, now my salary, and hence those vacation days are worth 4.75% more than previously. We can ignore inflation, as it affects each group equally as well as OPE (overhead), the state will have to have MADE 4.75% on the investment of my salary savings to break even (given how the state has been doing recently, not likely). Over two years, one employee at this rate will have 10 days set aside, and the state needing to average again 4.75% per year to make the savings worthwhile. Some quick math shows that at the end of two years, that $1000 of vacation time each year is worth $2047.50, and the third year, $2144.75 – as long as they do not reach the top end of their wage scale, these dollars will continue to grow.

Since the state is in the hole, this represents savings on borrowing – which means the state will have ONLY made money if they would have had to borrow money at OVER 4.75%. Considering I can get a 15 yr home loan for about that, I would expect the state sees a better loan rate. Thus, the State of Oregon would have been better off borrowing money to pay for salaries and forgoing furloughs.

This is the mistake – the state has essentially borrowed the money from the employee at 4.75%. It will end up being paid back – in lost effort, or in payments to the employee upon leaving.

The Chancellor’s office can fix this – right now, make the decision to close the University or institute mandatory furlough days… and NOT, though convenient, on days which people would normally take vacation (i.e. not around xmas). By minimizing the effect on operations, OUS has prevented any real savings – and it will cost the State… only swift action can prevent the employee's intention of sacrifice from becoming another boondoggle of government mixup.

As folks are preparing to Graduate...

2010-02-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

The message I would give to students, as an older student who has come back to school after working: SLOW DOWN!

Seriously, most all of my peers have their degrees. Of those with just a BS, few have exceeded the salary from my job out of HS - and most have struggled to find work. Experience, with just a BS or BA, at that level is just as critical - don't forgo an internship or new grad program to get your foot in the door.

In almost every case, those who have done well are those who chose to go on to a Masters, Doctorate or professional degree. I cannot tell you how many have gone back to get their RN.

So, yes, it may take you a few extra years to graduate, and your debt might be higher - but if you can find the opportunities in that time to propel yourself out of the school into a job, do so. Business majors - take an extra year and get the MBA - a plain business degree can open a door, the MBA will get the door opened for you as explained by my CFO friend. There are plenty of MBAs competing with you right now for that entry level job. Scientists and engineers, I have the same advice. Most of my friend went this route, were top of their class, but couldn't wait to get to the 'real world'. With a rare exception, the real world so to speak is just a daily 9 hour march, for unneeded years. Most all found happiness after going back and getting more education.

But you're sick of school? Really? Look around you - single? You will never find a larger more dynamic group of potential dates. Like to go out - trust me, a class at 0800 is nothing compared to weekly staff meetings at 0800, and quota reports. Money? You will never, seriously, NEVER have more beer money than right now - you'll have more cash to be sure, but it'll go to your mortgage or insane rent, your car, your kids, etc. The concerns you have now are in most cases trivial to those you will have in five years.

There is a reason they make shows where the 40 somethings look back to their college years fondly - these are the best years of your life for this type of activity. Later, the happiness you will find when you get married, have kids, etc will eclipse this selfish time, but also there will be divorce, losses, struggles, etc which will make finals and that bad date on friday seem trivial as well.

So don't rush - take this time to be selfish, take this time to get a real education, not just the quick piece of paper to get out into the workforce. Study your passion, your desire, go out with exciting people, let your heart explore and discover yourself. Work to take advantage of crazy travel opportunities through clubs and groups. Gain the experience here of more than just your BS or BA. Consider a graduate program where 'they pay you' as your potential post graduate salary gets increased, and your student loans aren't due yet. And finally, slow down - the rest of your life will come soon enough!!

Are the Classified Furloughs for Oregon Higher Education employees COSTING instead of SAVING the state money?

2009-11-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

I think there has been a mistake. A financial one, a bit obscure, but real dollars. In full disclosure, I am a classified state employee and a finance student at Oregon State University.

This is the mistake – the state has essentially borrowed the money from the employee at 4.75%. It will end up being paid back – in lost effort, or in payments to the employee upon leaving.

My clunker cash...

2009-07-29T11:43:00.001-07:00

So... I drive a 2001 Ford Sport Trac. According to the EPA website, http://fueleconomy.gov/ , I get 15 mpg, and therefore qualify for a large rebate if I trade it for a newer more efficient car.

However, this is what disappoints me - this program is NOT about getting cars off the road. Its about stimulating sales. If it was about getting gas guzzlers off the road, it would allow me to buy a 90's era junker, and trade it in for a reasonable amount ($2k or so). Instead, I need to have owned and insured the car - meaning, they want my still fairly drivable truck. Those junkers which seem to pass from hand to hand, will end up being lost after some schmoe who doesn't buy new cars gets his third DUII, or wrecked and abandoned after years more of nasty pollution. This program will buy about 250,000 junkers total. So, probably less than a quarter of the junkers just in LA alone, for example. And it will receive no financial payback for the junked vehicles.

I bought a hybrid last year, I have done my part - and yet, in looking for a new sedan, I am forced to trade in my reasonable vehicle - which I upkeep regularly, while a gas guzzling jeep sits a block a way for sale for $500. No incentive for me... and frankly, from what I have seen those folks trading in, all we are doing is taking away the next generation's 'teen inheritance' cars off the road, while the nasty junkers remain.

So, I'll keep my truck. Its worth the few extra dollars I'd have to pay - and now instead I can buy a new Charger. It gets 19 mpg. This program blew it both ways.

My suggestion: take $1 Billion, and buy junkers and scrap them. I'd bet dollars to donuts that with that kind of initial capital investment, you could 'make' money recycling old parts, and metal from them.

A Death, a Doctor, and a Divide

2009-05-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

There are few issues in this nation which divide us like abortion. For some, it is the slaughter of innocent lives, for others, an argument of choice and freedom.

In today's CNN.com, the lead story was of a late term abortion doctor being gunned down in front of his church. The irony here abounds.

Abortion is distasteful. I think no right minded person would disagree with this. It is okay to think it is wrong, to say it is wrong, and to choose not to get one yourself - or, for us men, to encourage our respective partners to not get one. Freedom allows this line of thought and personal choice.

However, this is not a perfect world - and frankly, these are not our bodies. Western philosophy preaches the values of the individual, but frequently our heroes on TV or the movies are the ones who act not in preservation of the individual but of society. There is likely someone living on the street in hunger within 20 miles of where you sit reading this right now. Life isn't perfect. There is suffering. There is pain. There is a worse world than we understand in our day to day lives... We choose not to see everything.

I think abortion is wrong. I would prefer is doesn't exist, but the hallmark of freedom is to understand that in having freedom we must allow those things, that we dislike, to happen. To listen to speech that you would spend the rest of your life shouting against, to watch a symbol of everything you love burnt as a statement of protest, to tolerate the intolerable idea.

So, abortion exists. Rational minded folks understand this freedom, this choice (in my personal view, a choice for only the mother to make) and that the understandable argument must be 'only' on what ethical limits we must place. Be it length of term, conditional age, parental notification, these are legitimate debates of serious ethical and moral issues. Debates which are not easily dismissed just because the right of choice exists.

We can work to create an environment which minimizes the desire to choose to terminate; but it is incumbent on us to not do so through intimidation, threat or backhanded coercion. Freedom entitles us to both protest and debate - but not prevent.

Today a man was shot... a man who took an oath to do no harm, a man who served his community in his own way, a man who made a ethical choice as to where harm lay in his field. He will be morned. I, while not grieving as I have no real connection to him, feel that his death should be avenged - I do believe in the death penalty, and frankly, his murderer deserves to die.

But before we condemn the guilty, let me say this and only this - the shooter was pro-life. One of the few pro-life people I have ever heard of. I have a four year old daughter, and if I knew of a physician who was killing four year olds down at a clinic, heaven and earth would not prevent me from casting my heart and arms against such a place. This person followed their belief, followed as so many do not. While I can justifiable end his life, I do not see him as evil.

Society tells us that ideas are noble pursuits to be debated in civilized fashion. Bloodshed is labeled barbaric, violence abhorrent, torture unconscionable. But... (hopefully)maybe one day, not now however. We are not far from the savage beasts beating our chests and beating each other to death with stone and stick over a fresh kill. We have clothed ourselves, taught ourselves, and housed ourselves in the protective glow of intellectuality, but we are still those beasts. Those essences of nature's slippery progress in evolution.

All too often we give lip service to our ideals. We frequently act only as it does not inconvenience ourselves. Because of the artificial constrains of society, we limit our response to that which is acceptable. To us the shooter was a cold blooded killer. However, if we abstractly place ourselves within the killer's mind, we see reflected the hundreds of late term abortions which now won't take place (at least not as easily). By every rational measure, more lives will come out of this death than were lost. Can you not truly imagine another scenarios in which one's sacrificing for the potential for many would not be a hero to some... to most?

It is a conflict. It is a war to some. Lines have been drawn, much as they are drawn for a hundred other issues... issues which effect lives, happiness, and freedom. You can stand on either side. I am a moderate Republican, a party who has made their feelings known, and yet I stand on the side of Pro-choice, on the side that will condemn this shooter to die for his cold blooded murder. But do not get me wrong - I am not sure I am in the right. I am not sure, if a deity exists, they are on my side in this. Probably not - do I sacrifice my eternal life for this cause? Yet this is my side. My choice. That misguided shooter may have a net gain of lives, but that is not what he took away. He took choice... the potential for a different than expected outcome. That 'freedom of choice' is all we have in the end to bring us away from our early ancestral selves.

I choose this side because I believe in freedom more than I believe in life...

... as freedom has always had this ironic price.

Album lists and memories...

2009-02-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

This is one of those 25 things lists floating around, but this one I felt I had a lot to reminisce about, thus I am spending a lunch hour avoiding getting yummy but unhealthy Panang Curry...

Albums through the years (these are pivotal pieces, I listened to a heck of a lot more, but these are the ones which invoke memories - they are by no means necessarily my favorite, though most are):

Thriller (Michael Jackson) - first album I can remember wanting. There was, of course, earlier music; but this is the first album I bought which I can remember.

The Wall (Pink Floyd) - High school, listening to it freshman year and awakening to a new world of classical rock. I remember I bought it cause this girl Clair I had a crush on mentioned it. Used to fall asleep listening to my walkman. 'Comfortably Numb' remains my favorite song of all time.

Hysteria (Def Leppard) - Middle of HS, this album seemed to be involved in all sorts of hijinks and other trouble I got into as my brother got his first car around then. I remember listening to 'Love Bites' with my first real girlfriend Tonya. Vividly.

Led Zeppelin IV - Again HS, I had this tie-dye shirt, and knew virtually nothing about them other than I liked this album. Poser. I kept singing parts of the stupid thing randomly in class. Only later did I discover the depth of the other Zeppelin offerings.

Appetite for Destruction - (Guns and Roses) my first very individualized choice in music. I owned this about a year before 'Sweet Child' came out big... For quite a while my favorite band. Thought I could sing like Axl Rose... I could not, and I think Kacey damned near killed me she got so sick of me trying.

Use Your Illusion I & II (Guns and Roses) - The summer before leaving for college I was in hormonal lust with a girl named Sarah, and this album came out. Then in college I remember listening to it again and again. And again. Not as good now as I remember it then, but what is...

The Black Album (Metallica) - I remember listing to them in HS, but when I hear this album I think of hanging out with my roommate Darren after freshman year playing Zelda on the SNES and not doing anything else productive. That was a great summer... and yes, UO does have tunnels. :-)

Multiple Sarcasm - Not only did I really love their only CD release, but the aforementioned roommate was the drummer (which probably was good then that I liked his music). No album more reminds me of Eugene, and the good times I had during those years than this music. I still have their demo tape floating around somewhere after I made Mp3s of it.

Crucify (Tori Amos) - 'Little Earthquakes' the album could just as easily be here, but Tori is a piano goddess. Listening to 'Thank You' coming off of those haunting Ivories will always be a vivid memory. I have seen her many times, but only the show in Eugene will remain burned in my memory as her best. She reinforced my firm belief in the awesomeness of redheads.

120 Days of Genitorture (Genitorturers) - I must admit, I bought this mainly for the picture of Gen on the front, but fell in love with 'Velvet Dreams', one of my top five songs of all time. I would later see them many many times in Orlando while in the Navy, and would occasionally run into this amazing blonde around town. Wish I would have said 'Hi' cause Gwen Stefani has nothing on Gen...

Undertow (Tool) - the video for 'Sober' still remains the coolest video I have ever seen. I was living in a quad at the time and I remember watching Beavis and Butthead, and waiting for Mtv's 'Headbanger's ball' to see this video again. This is probably the band I have seen most live after Sarcasm and the Genitorturers.

Promised Land (Queensryche) - I remember getting this with Darren on some late night trip, and we listened to it while driving... not sure where or why, just listening to the sound of it while the dark road passed behind. Later I saw them, and it remains one of the best concerts I ever have seen.

Chum (Seven Mary Three) - the original music before they hit it big, when I was in Orlando, 'Cumbersome' was the crunchy goodness of FM radio. It got castrated in a more publicly available later recording, and I still regret losing my copy of it, as it was 7M3 in their prime.

No Need to Argue (The Cranberries) - I have distinct memories of my friend Vince yelling at me as I sang 'Zombie' loudly as we studied electronics at Orlando's Naval Nuclear Power Training Command. I don't sing very well... but I love to anyways, much to others horror. I would crank this song as I tooled around Florida in my little jeep with the top down.

The Musicals - Sweeney Todd, Les Miserables, Phantom, Sunday in the Park - during al of this time, it would be a rare day when I didn't have a tune from one of these running through my head. From watching Sweeney late at night with Matt and Tonya, to seeing Les Mis the first time in wonder, to driving like a madman around San Fran looking for the damned theatre for Phantom five minutes before it started, to my huge mancrush on Mandy Patinkin's voice.

While i am sure I am missing some albums, I got bored with bands and albums after a while. Seriously, for some reason, my musical tastes stopped evolving; and while I really enjoy some new bands or artists, nothing ever held the same sway, the same staying power for me after the Navy years. It had been such a huge part of my life until then, and I went to a couple concerts to be sure afterwards, but even now have stopped attending those as the crowds piss me off more than the music satisfies me. SONGs would produce a much more vivid list spanning these and following years, but I have run out of time... and songs revel a much more intimate part of us all I think, one I am no keen to share.

I will say however, that the song to which I danced with Camie for the first time at our wedding was the theme to the 'Godfather'. No more beautiful love waltz exists.

Leaving DC...

2009-01-22T05:43:00.001-08:00

So, I am packing up after a great trip to the nation's capitol to see the inauguration. Words can't describe how cool this was... oh, wait, yes they can: Cold. Seriously, momentous and all, but cold as hell.

That is not to detract from the moment, the people, and the absolute crowds of enthusiasm given voice. From the opening concert, to shuffling around on Tuesday to see the speeches, it was a amazing experience. One I will only say, you must come have. Seriously, this happens every four years... now in this case, it was a unique moment, but a portion of that amazement still happens every four years and it is worth taking a moment out of one's life to spend in DC for that brief period of time.

For me, I am always blown away by this city. Everyone is driven, everyone is dedicated, everyone is the tops of the top. This is where those nerds who work their ass off come to finally be among those of their peers. In the bars you don't hear debates about sports, but about recent constitutional questions. It never feels crowded... even after the Mall, people seem to slip away on the metro leaving the area I am staying near the Mall sparse and comfortable. Within walking is the White House and all those touristy destinations, the GW campus, and the Metro taking one to the entirety of the rest of DC. In just two blocks there are amazing restaurants, great drinks, and every convenience one could need.

I will miss this city. I am not worthy of her yet. I hope to be one day... after law school, after MBA school, after some hard work and some dedicated efforts, I hope to be back. To bring my family to this wonder, and to let them see how amazing it is to live here, if even for a moment.

REE 2008: the program (day 1-3)

2008-10-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

So... I just returned from Stanford where I attended the 2008 REE Fellow program through the Stanford Technology Ventures Program. This blog will be a bit of a play by play, giving details about the daily events - hopefully, a few folks from next year will read and see the good and the bad.

Day 0: The Drive there...

I chose to drive down from Oregon instead of fly - many of my compatriots were flying from much greater distances but since I was coming from the next state over AND was bringing a bunch of Oregon products I figured driving would be a good way to go.

Yes and no. The problem with driving from Oregon is that Palo Alto is just near enough to do in one day. One long day. One very long day. I had five stops at various vineyards and creameries to make along the day, so I got in to the SLAC (stanford guest house located at the linear accelerator) around 0100. However, the hotel receptionist was pleasant, awake, and quickly got me in a room. I would say more about driving through Oregon's wine country and the amazing beauty of King Estate Winery but I will leave it at a recommendation that if you get a chance, this is a place not to be missed. To be fair, I got wine from many wineries which I will mention in another blog, but this place was amazing.

Day 1: Welcome...

Advice: So here is my first piece of advice, get to SLAC early the welcome day. Get settled. It will make a difference.

Woke early morning and took a ride down to Stanford to scout the campus and the faculty club area. Beautiful campus which suffers from an extreme lack of parking, which apparently is intentional. The campus bookstore, like so many others, is overpriced; don't buy now... in a few days you will have a better feel for what type of memento you'd like.

Back at SLAC, to the event you take a wonderful free shuttle bus called the Marguerite. Get used to it, as it's free, comes right to SLAC, and runs into campus and to Palo Alto. You'll also walk a lot, though more on that later.

We met around 1500 for 'high tea' at the faculty club. Don't dress up, it's not formal. However, this is the first time you really meet a lot of your peers, though some you will have met at SLAC earlier if you are fortunate. We got to decorate name tags... kinda silly, but you have to live with them for days, so it's worth a minute or two of effort. Our host Belen handed out tshirts as well, which was nice (see, I told you not to buy one at the bookstore.)

Advice: Appetizers are served here... kinda nice ones. EAT them. Never assume dinner will be all that good... or available for that matter. Food was hit or miss.

We then walked over to a large lecture hall, where we saw William McDonough speak. An interesting talk - our hosts were quite enamored with his every word; but he was all over the place, failed to take into account the full ecological footprint of his ideas, and when confronted with a real question regarding population displacement for these 'green communities' he passed the buck. Overall the same type of 'save the world by being green' stuff I see everywhere nowadays, but lacking real science behind it which is too bad. I expected more substance from a Stanford lecture. This leads to my first lesson:

Lesson: Just because it is Stanford, do not expect rigor. This is not a class, and the REE is intentionally a bit light due to the many different backgrounds. (I'll blog about that too at some point).

We then went to the treehouse for dinner, and our first real chance to sit and socialize with no timeline afterwards.

Advice: Notice the lack of schedule... this will be a recurring theme. REE expects independence, and frequently that results in a "what now" feeling. Get used to it, and make sure you know the shuttle's last run, as cabs are $15 from campus.

The Treehouse is a good example of Stanford in many ways, but the food was pretty blase. I ate light, and used the time to meet the different Fellows. It will take all week to make any real connections as 50 people are hard to get to know quickly. Importantly, these connections will quickly lead to differing activities.

We caught the shuttle home before 2000. It was packed, and not large enough for the entire group, so some had to be picked up later. Stanford is a bit confusing at first, so we walked many blocks to a shuttle stop a block from where we started. This would not be the last time this occurred.

Back at the SLAC, we broke into some beverages I had brought, and had a few drinks to well into the morning. Safeway is nearby if no one has libations. Widmer Hefeweizen was pretty popular. This was the highlight of the day, as you'll meet some pretty cool people.

Advice: This schedule would repeat itself many many times, so I would come to REE rested, as you will not get a lot of sleep unless you desire to miss some of the socializing.

Day 2: Greetings redux

It would seem that day two would be the day things really got going, but honestly, not really. Our schedule was basically a tour of Stanford at 1000 (could have skipped, in fact, I accidently merged with the second tour group which was ahead by 10 minutes when I got a phone call - didn't miss much). After lunch I spent MUCH more time wandering around campus, which proved a far better use of my time in seeing the school. And i'll put this here as I am not sure where else to mention it, but Stanford seemed almost deserted much of the time. OSU is packed with 20,000, but Stanford seemed much like a ghost town. Even at the hours, when normally students would be pouring out of buildings did Stanford feel empty. A week later, only once did I not get this same impression.

The meet and greet lunch as one of the highlights of the food... a nice buffet at the faculty club, kinda upscale foods. Got a table outside, and it was quite nice. The team building activities left a lot to be desired though. Kinda trivial stuff done many times before. This sadly too becomes a recurring theme. My friend Noah does informational organization work, and I would have rather someone like him got us thinking how to organize the info instead of just how to create it. But I digress... all in all a nice lunch, but we were done by 1400, and that was it for the day, at least for the program (more on that in a second).

Wandered around campus a bit that afternoon - great chance to really see Stanford during the week, and you have essentially the rest of the day unfettered.

However, I had other plans. Back in my room I had 60 bottles of Oregon Wine, 13 cases of Oregon Microbrews and a bunch if foods from various Oregon vendors. So, in the bottom of SLAC, around 1800 I threw an Oregon Foods party. Folks also had brought some small items, but REE dinner was a single piece of sushi each, so most people dug into the brought foods hardcore. This was a ton of fun (like I said, I'll go into more detail in another post). Utterly outside of REE, this was where we really started to make connections and again things lasted well into the night. This social networking would turn into one of the most valuable assets of the trip.

Day 3: Highschool?

So, day three was a real disappointment. I had hurt my back the night before, so that didn't help either, but essentially it was catching the shuttle down to Stanford to meet with Tina and Ed in the D school area.

You can always tell a program which is not well funded, as they turn their lack of infrastructure into a 'flexible organic workspace'. I get the impression that this will change soon, as Tina's work is not trivial, but it comes across now as somewhat an afterthought for Stanford - no matter how creatively you dress it up.

None the less, the morning was spent essentially discussing rules for brainstorming and then some brainstorming exercises which seemed to be geared at reinforcing these lessons. If I heard 'think outside the box' again, I might have actually killed someone. People are good at brainstorming, this is not the issue. Where people have problems is organizing the ideas into a coherent plan of action or theme. This was readily evident, and not at all addressed. Essentially the program was geared at the HS level, and since I was but one of the few undergrads (most folks were grad students), it was not all that well received. This would not be the first time that people verbally complained when out of reach of the hosts - it got worse as the week went on.

Ed then did some exercise before lunch on 'back of the envelope' budget analysis. I have a finance background, so it was trivial but for some this wasn't bad. Unfortunately I got the impression Ed didn't have a finance background either, as some pretty pivotal analysis was left off. Oh well, the idea came across.

Afterwards, lunch again - box lunches from Whole Foods, and then by 1330, done for the day. This was when folks, busy folks who had given up time during the term, started to get a bit annoyed at how the program was running. To be fair, we did have a team project which i will mention in a bit, to work on; but I met with my team, we had a solid idea, and that just left dinner. Tonight, we all went out to Palo Alto, and after $9 beer at Andale ended up drinking at Nola's til late in the evening. I drove down, so while I had to stop drinking a couple hours before we left, it saved a bunch on cab fare.

Advice: Palo Alto is expensive. Be prepared to shell out a lot for food and transportation. If you have three people with you, cab fare is much cheaper obviously.

Advice: Get some construction paper, glue sticks and scissors. The rest is just printed out for the project.

(more to come)...

Evangelical Hypocrisy

2008-09-02T12:23:00.001-07:00

I am of the opinion that Gov. Palin daughter's pregnancy is off limits.

However, if evangelicals are going to be the utter hypocrites they are at the moment, then fine, let's discuss this.

This is not an example of how Gov. Palin's family is 'human'. Presumably, they are not from Mars anyway, so it is a somewhat facetious statement. What this is an example of is that Gov. Palin cannot convince her own family to practice what SHE preaches. Abstinence, Christian values of chastity before marriage, no sex education in schools. Who cares... this is a reality of being a parent. Not a huge reflection on Palin's ability to lead honestly. Family and the 101st Airborne are two entirely different things.

Now as well, no problem with Bristol getting knocked up. It happens, and frankly, the poor kid doesn't need the entire country knowing details about it.

But for Christian Rights groups to circle their wagons around Palin at this time, to defend her with the same mouths that have condemned the same in liberals is hypocrisy. In fact, it does not take much effort searching Google to uncover numerous evangelical sites claiming that 'Teen Pregnancy' is a direct result of failed liberal value systems. Uh, okay. Pot calling kettle... come in kettle.

Evangelicals are claiming this is an example of how Palin lives as she preaches... ahh, not really. This is an example of how 'Bristol' has decided to live her life. Had her mother still been a city councilor of a town smaller than OSU's student body by half, I wonder honestly whether Bristol might not have considered other options. I mean, it is clear that by having sex, she was already ostensibly not listening to her mother's wishes. So, lets not ascribe any major victory for Gov. Palin here, other than maybe peer pressure.

The campaign brought it up - so clearly they thought it was an issue. They also hold the smallest Palin child in the limelight as an example of how Palin believes in Pro-Life: okay, then questions about how she is going to handle the raising the child are fair game. Every time I hear a woman screaming sexism in the question, I want to shout at the TV "Then why did McCain's campaign bring up the issue!" The GOP wants to use Palin's family as an example of how she can lead, then the family's future is fair game. Honestly, the response is "my husband will be taking care of the children". End of discussion. Because, let's be honest here - either the kids are raised by nannies, or dad - cause the VP is not a position with a lot of free time.

Why don't guys get asked the same thing? Well, maybe because we are not projected as 'father of 5 kids' in campaign ads. There is an implication in McCain's pick that some of her appeal is that she is a mom. So, you can't get the plus without the minus. If it is a pro, its also a con. Find me a single dad running for president, and damned if he won't get this question too. The McCain-Palin camp should be deferring to the father as the caregiver.

In my opinion, the fact the campaign has not answered this way only proves that they still are unwilling to accept a father in a primary care role. How is this not sexism itself?

Every time I see this stuff, I wonder how I can remain a member of this party. I mean, McCain certainly did not have the best interests of the country at hand by picking Palin - she is NOT presidential material yet. Sorry, but I expect my president to be someone who could run circles around the common person in affairs of the world, of state, of country. Frankly, half the mess the country is in right now is because our current President can't hold a candle to the intellect of his father. Intelligence DOES count for something. Depth DOES count for something. Just having good intentions, or tenacity is not enough. The complexity of say 'the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty' is significant. Fine strokes, not broad are needed.

So many very qualified, very worldly and very respectable women are in the GOP. People I would have the confidence to run the country - or at least the background to know where to ask for help. I mentioned Condelezza Rice the other day, but also Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. I mean really, how is Palin even close to comparing to these fine women in terms of experience. And these are just politicians. Many execs could easily fill the VP shoes.

Gov. Palin needs to withdraw. If she is the person I think she is, even she knows that her continued participation is a body blow to the GOP. She shouldn't have accepted - it was ego on her part, and strategy on McCain's. The desperation move to contest the election in a time of change.

Republican's not immune...

2008-08-29T08:28:00.001-07:00

Oops.

So, while sadly Hillary didn't take a shot across Obama's bow, McCain sure did. But, a POORLY aimed shot. You know the type, one which not only doesn't scare the competition much, but comes back and hits your hunting partner in the face.

Gov. Palin may be a decent small state Bureaucrat. Alaska has less people than Portland keep in mind. Does that make Sam Adams qualified to take over the presidency? No.

Palin is a shot to pick up the disenfranchised Hillary supporters. A shot to Obama's demographic. But of all the female leaders, he picked one which completely will get run over by Biden, has little or no experience in foreign policy or even beltway politics - heck barely state politics. I mean, lets face it, we are talking Alaska (as state which I love btw, but has the political savvy of a lead weight).

Give me Condoleezzaa Rice. Now that is a candidate I would have felt up to the task. I wouldn't have voted for her, but had McCain won, I would be confident that someone with the skills to lead was a VP- not the skills I feel our country needs, but the skills to lead. I don't get that from Palin.

Palin will be a HUGE liability - as essentially she undercuts EVERY single argument the GOP makes against Obama. She is the epitome of not ready. She is frankly out of her league. She is a decent governor for Alaska, but in no way is this a person I want potentially leading my country.

The GOP had a compelling argument, and some compelling VP potentials. They went for a parlor trick. Too bad. No matter how much I like Obama now, my vote can be looked at as nothing more than 'against' the GOP ticket.

Democratic Destruction

2008-08-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

I am an Obama fan. And, I should point out a very liberal Republican (yes, the two words can coexist).

However, there is a slim part of me... just a part... that would love to see Hillary take advantage of Obama's naiveté and steal the nomination. I should say as well, I am NOT a Hillary supporter - she no more represents the values of middle class America than any other multimillionaire entitled yuppie does.

But yet... we need to see a change in the current Democratic leadership and party bigwigs. These are the same people who absolutely blew the change 4 years ago to end Bush's reign of incompetence. And they are doing it again. How in the world is Obama in a dead heat with McCain??? Because the Dems don't know how to campaign anymore. They are too full of the 'smell the fart' success (South Park fans will get the reference) idea to be down to earth enough to recognize the real core issues. They think that corporations are the enemy, that current foreign handholding will work, and frankly that the UN is a good idea. But mostly, they can't seem to land a punch when it counts. The GOP is running ramshod over them. And when they get the spotlight, its the same touchy feely, miss the timing, ramble on crap that has plagued them for years.

SO far, the democratic national convention has been a train wreck. Yes, it has been full of inspired speeches, and of touching stories. But nothing to get me to vote for Obama (which I want to do). Heck I even like Biden quite a bit - he says what he means, a rare trait in DC; but so far its been a 'look at us, wow we are neat'. At no other point in my lifespan has one party had momentum enough to make a change like we have now... even reasonable Republicans think Bush has 'ucked it up. I could list the issues I have with the current administration, but I could also go to medschool in the same time ti would take me, so I'll pass for now. Suffice it to say, this should be a slam dunk for Democrats. Yet, even with one of the most compelling people in the last 20 years, they can't seem to get the engine going.

So Hillary should attempt a coup. Its her right... with the fully restored Florida and Michigan delegates, damned if it wouldn't be a floor fight. And that is what they need. Obama needs to be bloodied. He needs to see that this is a fight for all the marbles... a scrap... a clawing backstabbing run for power. He is not that guy... and he has surrounded himself with people who aren't that way - great, but it is how one loses an election.

So, I don't care for Hillary, but she needs to take a shot across the bow. Make Obama prove he is worthy of the crown. McCain has... McCain has challenged Bush on policy directly, knowing it could cost him the nomination a few years back. He has gone against his party at key votes and times. He has shown himself to be more concerned with America than party. Which is what I want to see in a president. If I didn't feel that he is going to have to sell his soul into the purgatory of Republican hell to win this election, he'd have my vote. But I want the global perception of change - even if it is on the back of a party who has got it's head stuck up its ass.

Change is good... but learn to scrap for it. Because mine is a vote which is winnable... and I am not sure the current Dem campaign knows how.

Adoption and birth families

2008-08-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

So... I have mentioned it before, but I have officially found my birth parents.

Wendy Shamp is my birth mom. Grew up in California, and came to Oregon to have me (I was this close to being a californian, I'll have to stop picking on them). I had a couple phone conversations with her and may actually meet her this weekend, as she has flown back from her home to attend her mother's wake. (kinda odd, technically, the wake is for my grandmother... but it seems so remote). I guess she lives in Hawaii now but lived in San Diego for along time... not all is clear just yet (phone calls and all).

My birth father is a more difficult story. I have a name (Anthony Mattos) but he doesn't really fit the description of how Wendy described him, nor do genetically I fit very well. She said he was italian and spanish - but he is portuguese (long story... I actually spoke to him which was entirely not intentional, as I feel he deserved to know but wanted to be much more sure before initiating contact, but he got curious as to a question... yada yada yada). Anyways, sucky way for him to find out, even suckier if he is not the guy. Wendy swears its him, but its 35 years and he doesn't really remember her.

Either way, I sent him some photos but I am a unsure: he is dark skinned with very dark brown eyes. I can be dark skinned, but need to spend time outside to be so, and I have blue-green eyes. I mean, genetically maybe, but it just seems like it might be someone else.

All in all it is weird. I don't want to intrude on these people's lives. But how does one discover one's background without?

The Bear and the Lawman...

2008-08-07T12:59:00.001-07:00

So... I am under arrest. Well, not really. I was cited for hunting during prohibit hours.

I shot a bear at night at my place. A Nuisance Bear. Which, means I have the legal right to shoot him. That being said, there was some confusion about who I was supposed to report to, and since I chose ODFW instead of OSP, I got cited.

Honestly, I am a bit let down by the system, as this is a pretty obvious 'no harm' mistake. I think the OSP officers took it too far - but I'll pay my penance, no big deal. Just disheartening, as I tried to do the right thing, and then tried to be as honest as possible about it.

So, lesson learned - don't do the police's job for them. Never talk to an officer under any circumstances - even if you are 100% innocent. Even doing the right thing can be wrong.

Sad huh!

A Garden... a victory for the pocketbook

2008-04-27T10:12:00.001-07:00

Everyone should plant a garden.

Don't you love 'all or nothing' statements of objective opinion without any qualifiers or rationale?

Seriously though... I believe that with the cost of food going up, and the speculative cost of oil having reached a most realistic ludicrism, that planting a garden is about the most fiscally and sustainably responsible thing one can do.

Mine cost about $20. An 8' by 4' raised flowerbed in which recently had very nice but not very functional hedging and dead lemon trees (they started alive, but I live on the Oregon Coast, so lemons were probably naively optimistic). I cleared out the bed, and have started 8 rows, each split in two. 16 different plants, planted according to growth time, spread, height and nutritional needs (the geek part of me actually enjoyed planning the garden as much as actually planting the garden - it all comes down to plant stats and chemistry). A bag of soil, and a lot of seeds. And I am cheating a bit, for the first few weeks, I am actually planting all the seeds inside on a window ledge in a seedbox. I'll transplant when the weather starts looking better (it snowed this last week in late April so frost is still a concern), and when everything is a few inches tall.

In the end I will have snap peas, squash, spinach, onions, carrots, celery, broccoli and a few other things. Tomatoes are being grown separately in hanging baskets inside... I got about 40 lbs that way last year, and expect a bigger crop this year as I have found I can really use them, and I have a ton of window space (and like the smell). A garage-sale-find window box is also serving as my herb garden in the kitchen, holding a ton of new starts which will soon produce fresh basil, thyme, oregano, etc etc... everything but rosemary (which I accidentally planted outside a few years ago as an ornamental for the bluish flowers, and the plant now is the size of a small couch - I won't ever need to go without rosemary).

So $20. I will still buy lettuce at the store... I actually like iceburg as a base, and can't seem to keep the slugs off that one in particular. But just about nothing else. Should save me about $800. Likely more. Possibly much much more. I toyed with this a few years ago, but made little effort to combat pests, but still had good results. This time, I am well prepared... I am even considering saving on watering once summer hits by storing rainwater in a cistern (not sure about how to make that practical yet).

So, if this experiment works, the garden next year will be much larger... I have 2.5 acres, and could easily put another three of these garden boxes in place with only the cost of some block (raising them up helps with pests, and also allows better drainage, etc etc).

The rest of the acreage is also being used, but in a more longer term way. Some is blackberries and blueberries, which I have left as they are well established and produce bucketfuls of berries each year. Other areas I have cleared, and I am now up to 80 fruit trees. Still young, I have already gotten asian pears and apples last year. The cherries are a battle with the birds... I'll have to think on that one, but the pears should come in good this year. And I am still waiting on my first apricots... the fasting growing tree incidentally of the whole orchard.

A garden... a bit of water... a bit of effort... but in practical terms cheap. This year just veggies... in a few more though, I could realistically expect to start canning, and saving some of this stuff such that my year round food bill was greatly reduced.

Now I just need some solar power, a well, a few cows, a mess of chickens, and I am off the grid.... well, except for 'net. Can't go without that. Is that likely... not really, I am not someone who needs to be off the grid. Solar, I will probably put something in this or next year as the cost of electricity has finally hit the point of reasonable return. A well... nah, city water is cheap here in Waldport. Chickens... if it keeps going up in price. Cows... not bloody likely.

So I am apparently willing to go a small distance. But it is enough. If I can cut the amount of meat and milk, I can cut my budget pretty damned fast. And when conservation translates to dollars and cents, its pretty easy to do.

So plant a garden... it will surprise you.

Democratic Primary: Obama has won it... time to move on

2008-04-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

This primary race is over. It has been over for some time now.

CNN has a great Delegate tool which allows you to allocate delegates based on likely outcomes. Play with it, it's great.

If one looks, if Hillary was able to win 60/40 in EVERY remaining election... and the remaining super delegates split evenly, OBAMA wins. OBAMA. Not Hillary. And that is with Hillary defying all statistical odds.

More likely, she will win about 55/45 at best? Absolute best?! And, even if she gets a favorable smattering of super-delegates at a 60/40 ratio, Obama wins.

Thus, this race is by all measures of statistical likelihood over. How can she not see that? How can she be so selfish as to damage significantly the democratic party by taking this all the way to the convention? This is the greatest gift the GOP could have ever asked for. The ONLY way they have a chance this year would be this scenario. Don't get me wrong, I like McCain. He isn't a bad guy. And smart enough to rely on advisors for things he doesn't understand. And Gutsy enough to stand against his party when it counted. But this country needs a change of direction... even if down a uncertain road.

Times are changing. The dominance we have long held is slipping away. 100 years isn't bad, but a billion Chinese and a billion Indians are going to have a new say in world politics. We need to refocus and the only way we can do that is if we are able to put behind the last 30 years of politics with a RADICAL departure.

Obama has won. Statistics makes this all but certain. Trust in numbers. Trust in the choice we have made... and let's move on.

Meatless Mondays...

2008-04-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

So, I am giving up meat.... one day a week.

I honestly can say I probably don't have meat every day. But, as I look in my fridge and freezer, many of my meals are based around a meat of some sort. Lamb, Duck, Beef, or Chicken; all are readily handy in my freezer - with a smattering of Seafood... gotta get more fish.

However, I spent some time listening to a Stanford Professor talk about the increased energy costs of meat production, and estimated savings by reducing meat consumption by 20% (equivalent of moving to a hybrid vehicle). Now, don't get me wrong - when I hear a statistic like that my hackles go into overdrive, as frequently this is the type of quasi science which only serves to make real science that much harder to present. However, in doing some quick research, there is a valid point to the increased energy usage of meat, even if only by a small fraction of what is purported.

So, I figure why not. Eating more vegetables and fruit can't be a bad thing, and in general it is cheaper. Thus, one day a week to start, I will cut out meats entirely. If they are right, I am doing a good thing, and if they are wrong - well, I am still doing a good thing by eating a more balanced diet. Hard to argue with a win-win.

So, Meatless Mondays. Kinda catchy.

X-files, women, flying and other random thoughts

2008-04-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

So... a couple interesting thoughts for the day. The first being primarily that the new X-files movie has a title: I WANT TO BELIEVE... it seems strange to me to meet fellow classmates who don't really remember or haven't seen the X-files. I mean, this was not a show of my youth, but of adulthood. Am I that old now?

---

I am however becoming more misogynistic. And this deserves its own blog to fully explain which I will do one of these days, but I am surrounded by women at my school who speak either of two things. 'Marriage and kids' or 'Career'. Now, I am a firm supporter of women doing whatever the hell they want to... but as I get older, I notice the moms seem to have this sense of stereotypical feminine helplessness when it comes to professional life that I just don't see in the very same group of women who don't have kids. I can't really continue without sounding like an ass... but the women who will complain about this don't have kids yet. That says it all. Those who do can't be bothered by stupid comments like this - as their kids are undoubtably getting into something. Who cares if the deadline is this evening, I need to get my kid from school? Actually, maybe its not misogynism, maybe it all parents; and men tend to just be more neglectful assess about it.

---

I am not going to fly anymore. Seriously, you give up too many rights - rights that are in no way things that make you safer, but just because airlines have developed some special status. Would you ever return to a restaurant which forced you to sit without food for 9 hours while a mechanic took a look at the stove - but refused to let you leave and come back? Once you are on a plane, you are essentially a prisoner under all circumstances, even if the plane is just sitting their for hours on the tarmac baking in the sun. For this, you are aggressively searched because they are too cheap just to put a couple armed guards on every flight, forced into overly small seats where god help you if the guy in front leans his all the way back so you can count his hairplugs, and have virtually no amenities unless you are wealthy and sit in first class (an entirely different experience). So, once I make my millions, I'll fly again, but until then I'll just drive.

---

They say you can't tell you have an accent if you live in the area, so that must be true about diving as well. I live on the Oregon coast, and without question, I can tell a Washington Driver and a California Driver without seeing the plate.

The Washington Driver is cautious and bewildered. Driving typically 5 to 10 mph slower than the posted speed, they will occasionally and for no reason slow to 20 mph to look at some random thing (like the ocean) as if it has never been seen before. They will not however pull over to actually get out and look - preferring instead to continue at their new slower pace as they lose sight of the ocean, and now seem to be fixated on finding a street or address of the next 20 miles.

California drivers however couldn't care less about the scenery, or the road for that matter. Going at minimum of 10 mph over the posted speed, this will increase in rain or on sharp curves. Passing when ever possible once seeing the 'don not pass' sign, they care little about any sort of traffic other than its consideration as mild interference on their way to some nonsensical event.

Yet, if you look at the stats, it is the Oregon Drivers which crash. Usually someone from the coast and someone from the valley collide (generally at the Valley impudence).

Sports...

2008-04-15T08:43:00.001-07:00

So. I dislike (team) sports.

Well, that is not true. I dislike WATCHING most (team) sports. Except football.

I grew up fortunate enough to have a father who liked to take me to baseball games. We'd sit in the special box seats of our athletic club, and like kings on high watch from the distance as the tiny men ran the bases. This was NOT the majors. Later, we'd spend a great deal of time watching from the same vantage the Portland Timbers soccer team strive to make a showing. The stands were usually near empty.

In high school I had a good friend who was affluent enough that his father had near courtside seats to the Blazers (basketball) and I can't imagine watching the game from any more distant vantage point. Even there, I felt I was too far removed to make it interesting. This is the same friend who forms some of my best childhood memories however, as we spent countless playing basketball or baseball together. Playing = key.

Finally, in college - football. Go Ducks. Go Beavers. Oregon born and bred.

In all of this, I can't imagine any of these sports being enjoyable while watching as compared to playing. Seriously, basketball turns on a dime, the fate of any given team is usually dependent on one or two key players - over the course of a couple hours. However, a pickup game where you are matched up randomly is fun. Sweating is fun. Baseball the same. Without beer, fans I think would finally see baseball for what it is - a large organized picnic where random people seem to be very intent on a small white ball. Boring. Heck, frankly even playing is a bit dull.

Soccer... fun for a few minutes, but there is only so much one can take of announcers trying to be exited about men kicking the ball back and forth. Of all these though, it is my favorite to play. A good soccer game requires almost no setup, virtually no rules, and an ease of approach that few other games possess.

Football though. Now this is a game I love. Strategic battle between two warring factions. Each play a 40 mph collision of men and equipment. Pain. Strife. Execution, and success and failure so quickly evident. When a coach has broken another's defense, it shows instantly. When a team is outmatched... well, let's just say we know the outcome but still watch for the valiant fall. What is the quote "When the fall is all that is left, it matters very much how one falls down".

Don't like watching at a stadium though. What is it about crowds which make the least intelligent person the common intelligence among the crowd? Why do we insist on sitting and standing every few seconds. Stand the hell up people... and stay there... another play is coming in 45 seconds or so. College is more fun than Pro, but each has their place.

Mostly though, there are 'few' games. So EACH GAME MATTERS. Have a season of 20 baseball games, and I'd watch that. A season of 20 BB games, and hell, that would be interesting too. But 100 games... well, hell, at that point you are basically just playing statistics and you might as well just run stats on each player and pick the winner at the start. Games need to have significance. Split a series of 6 games... well, so might an NFL team; but with one game instead, it sure matters a lot more. More of each team is left on the field. There are no freebies, as each game moves one closer to the championship.

Obviously, I am talking team sports here. Nascar is fun, golf surprisingly as well. Both require beer though to watch. I have driven around Daytona, but 110 is not 180+. I have shot a round or two (par? par is that number of shots I have taken on the first 4 holes) of golf. Both were fun, but you play alone. A team may support you, but it's the driver and his car when it comes down to it.

Finally fans. I know a few people whose knowledge of sports is so great, they must have sacrificed serious childhood memories to fill it all. Limited protein storage capacity folks. I mean, I usually forget most of the past season by the time a new one starts. I remember a few keys plays from my history (the Catch, the Falcons(?) leaving the field (long ago), Young to Owens to beat the Packer's finally, Stealers beating the Rams in my first Superbowl, The Bills comeback, the Niners comeback, Payton's comeback, the missed Bill's missed FG in the 'bowl). These plays are my stats. Who did what when, well, someone will tell me - I don't need to remember. I'll remember the names of a few guys who impress me. Cooper Manning for example - two bothers with Superbowl MVPs and this is the brother with a grace to be admired. Farve... a work ethic to beat all else. Montana... well, he was Montana.

These friends are the same people who watch lumber sports when there is nothing else playing. The need to watch others compete. I just don't get it. Who get so wrapped up in the award chases, the draft choices, the latest analysis of who did what. These are so outside of my influence and effect that I can't even begin to care. Even as we prepare for another olympics I wonder if I will give it a second glance. Maybe gymnastics, but only because these girls scare me a little.

I understand fandom... to an extent. I understand having something you enjoy so much that you can lose yourself and your worldly cares while the game is on. I just have never been able to get there. Even with football, most of the time it is background noise. I can usually count the number of games I actually watched on two hands.

So... sports. I just don't get the fascination with watching. I want to be playing. And if I can't play, I don't want it rubbed in my face.

Comm 385: The end??? (week 10)

2008-03-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Does the end of class mean the end of blogging?

For others in my class... I would guess 'pretty much'. Maybe it is the epitome of egotism that I continue to babble nonsensically to my computer day in and day out. Truly, few read these for all I can tell. But it was nice to bring something that I enjoy doing out into the bright light of a course, and thus allow me more comfortable access. So I imagine I will continue to post.

Few of my fellow classmates said much in their blogs beyond the assignments... and I wonder if that speaks to a new paradigm in online usage. That bloggers we see day-to-day come to find that they need an outlet. These people who write are the people who find that this comfortable 'tapping at keys' is able to express our inner thoughts more effectively than other methods many might use. And even then, the tools do not allow for the expressionistic attempts I would like to make. (needs a good equation editor - I like to talk about silly math mistakes - for example Bear Stearns for $2/share). So all in all, blogging is by nature, a self selected audience. The media has fallen in love with it and the idea behind it; because in general these are all typically people who make money on people valuing their opinions, and what better way to make a name, all the while hoping they can end up a 'pundit' on FoxNews or the like. Heck, even fairly prominent journalists list 'such and such blogger' as their main title now.

Me, it's a cheap diary which allows the rare friend to glimpse a topic which we might not otherwise discuss, or allow me to have a thought and come back to it six months later as see whether I was full of crap or not. Sadly, usually I am wrong - permanently and archivally wrong. Wrong for the world to see. Forever. If I ever do run for more than City Council, I will probably need to hire a hit squad to take out every copy of these pensives in existence. Or suffer the folly of youthful thought in my later years. Alas.

Overall the assignments raised interesting topics. Some a bit mundane in analysis for a upper division course... or a least some of these responses (including mine from time to time). Rhetoric should elevate and enlighten... barring that, it should at least be entertaining to read. I suppose I should have thrown in sex stories from time to time... anybody got any?

In the final analysis, it was good verbal diarrhea. A way for a stream of mental thought to escape the bounds of my den during an online class, and fall upon unlikely ears. A voice heard, even if you poor folks were forced.

Which leaves one question 'If a blogger's work is never read, does it make a sound?'... yup, tequila and lime while you think on that. I end how I started... enjoying a five year Anejo on the rocks garnished ever gently with that luscious green savior of a fruit. Salute.

The Myth of Sustainability and My New Car

2008-03-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Sustainability is good.

Seriously, this should not be a discussion. There is every indication at this point that companies and societies which engage in sustainability efforts tend to reap not only environmental but financial rewards as well. Of course, this may indicate more progressive and active management, so this may not hold in passively managed approaches where care is not given to the end result.

But at this point, we can safely say that sustainability is a good thing. It saves resources...

... or does it.

Without arguements regarding global sustainability or global warming or the effectively obscure political arguments about global anything, I am wondering if my new car was a good thing.

I just bought a slightly used Ford Escape Hybrid. A couple years old to knock down the depreciation, it will replace a gas guzzling truck... which I LOVE to drive. Seriously, nothing made me happier than the 80 minutes or so from Waldport to Corvallis three times a week when my time was my own, my cell was out of range and my truck has muscle. The time will be the same, and hell, it is a Ford, so the drive will be the same pretty much. Just with less recycled dinosaurs.

The gas I have used will be cut roughly in half. Half. That in itself is the entire reason I bought the damned thing... that and my best friend (who is also frequently my devil's advocate) wasn't there to talk me down as he lost his !&^%@ cell. So, I am choosing to blame him if this little financial experiment doesn't work out. Anyway, half means about $360 a month.

A little math:

4 weeks in a month

3 fills per week

$60 at $3.35/gal to fill

...Thus, $720 month in gas.

My savings should be at LEAST half of this. The car is costing me $270 (I got a very very good deal - part of me is tempted to flip the Escape for a profit) plus $60 insurance. So I am saving maybe $30 a month. $30.

So I am not sure yet if it was a good deal. If gas increases, I am well justified. If I graduate and no longer commute to school next year, I am taking a loss. And I have to decide whether to sell my truck (I am, very very reluctantly). I loved that beast. 2001 Sportrac with brushguard, skidplate and could tow a 10k lb boat. Alas... I always lost money on boats... but that is for another blog.

But back to the deal. I gave up using a reliable but aging vehicle for a reasonably modern hybrid vehicle which doubles my fuel economy at minimum. However, one must truly go beyond that to look at the overall sustainability of such a device. The many sophisticated electronics, the huge and unfortunately replaceable batteries, the very act of a new thousand pounds of steel and plastic - do these really over any realistic lifespan for this vehicle equate to the savings in one specific fossil fuel. OR am I foolishly trading one consumption for another, hidden by the guise of sustainability.

And thus, my point - as we are confronted with issues like hybrid cars, Styrofoam vs. paper cups, Ethanol vs gas, mercury filled compact fluorescents vs. incandescent, etc etc... we need to look not from the blind consumer at these products. We must not be lemmings in this if we are to be true conservationists. We must use science, use must think beyond today, and we must view sustainability with a more judicial eye.

Because it's a hybrid doesn't mean that it is green. So few things are.

[Politics] ... but Obama WON Texas

2008-03-11T19:49:00.001-07:00

So... it has been a week, but if one counts the delegates from the primaries, Texas did NOT go to Hillary Clinton.

Obama won 99 Delegates from Texas, she won 94.

Talk about spin last week. :-)

Everyone is so eager to give this race away so quickly. Nobody is patient.

Comm 385: The fallacy of constitutional thought (week 9)

2008-03-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

We have many rights as Americans. Free speech, the right to own ridiculously overpowered guns, the right to think that guns are ridiculously overpowered and join groups about it. We have the right to believe in the deity of a man hung bloodily from a cross, or in the non-existence of the same said man. We have the right to not have our person searched, nor our property without due cause... something sadly much maligned since 9/11. We have many rights...

... we have no right to personal privacy.

Nowhere in the Constitution is the right to privacy guaranteed. Nor in the Bill of Rights, nor the additional amendments to follow. It is not a guaranteed 'American Right', as we know the others.

Yet, it is the presumption of this Right which guides many of our actions on a daily basis. The idea that our credit purchases are private, the idea that our browsing history is private. The idea... well, that our information is private. Where we live, our phones, our status, our pay, our debt. We presume that all of these things are protected by the shell of our being American.

We are wrong.

http://money.cnn.com/services/privacy/

This is the standard privacy statement from CNN. We were, this week, to find a web article that describes the potential misuses of the internet... and I felt I would point out the obvious, the elephant in the room. It is not the child molesters, the pedophile, the hackers, the pfishers, the identity thieves from which are greatest danger lies. It is ourselves. (isn't it always)

Privacy requires activity. It requires action. It requires not remaining passive in the protection and withholding of critical information. It requires... what we cannot and are unwilling to do.

Most of us are secure enough not to give our social security number over the phone. Not to give our address out casually, not to give our critical vital statistics to just anyone. Yet, in order to function in today's society, we are forced to provide this same information readily to companies in order to do business. Readily to vendors in order to secure discount. Readily in order to establish a financial relationship. Here however we are forced, as is evident from the privacy page above, so share this with a company whose interests are not that of data privacy. Are not those of securing financial information at any cost. Our information is only as good as the value they have placed on its security. And few laws punish those who lose this data to security issues.

Instead we are informed, but must take action ourselves to protect our privacy and security when this data is misplaced. We have little control of the chain of this data's security, so we may not even know if a compromise has occurred.

In the end, we can only but claim that we have the 'right' to have this privacy and security safeguarded. A right we do not have... but wish for, if only to lessen our own misplaced trust.

[Politics] Nobody won anything...

2008-03-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

So... nobody won anything last night. Nothing. By my best estimate (and lots of new's shows) Clinton came FOUR delegates closer to Obama. Four. And, in my honest opinion, that is the type of split we will see for the next several months. Each candidate splitting nearly evenly the delegates from each state. Clinton cannot and should not claim a victory or comeback last night. She held commanding leads in those states earlier, and barely held on to Texas... holding on is not winning, is not making a comeback. She derailed momentum, that is the best she should claim.

Since I have indicated a bias for Obama, I want to be fair here. I am trying to be objective. Nobody won last night. Not even McCain. Sure, he is now the presumptive nominee. But, he had that weeks ago if anyone looked at the numbers. Last night for him was a formality - the only loser is Huckabee, as he might have had a better chance at the VP spot had he brokered a concession earlier.

But as I was saying, nobody won. Clinton finally got some popular vote victories, but this is about delegates... and four is just not going to do it.

Unfortunately, I think we saw the start of the call for an Obama/Clinton 'dream' ticket. For Clinton, this would be a HUGE win... takes the legs out from her competition if she is on the top of the ticket, and gives her the support from Obama's fans. For Obama, it will be hard to argue for the top spot, as experience WILL count in the back-rooms of the DNC. And the Clintons are tough politicos. Clinton has the advantage here in age as well... as many could argue this puts Obama in a good position in 4 (lose) or 8 (win) years.

So, tough choices are ahead in the DNC in the next few months. Regardless of a hugely unpopular president and a swing towards change, the GOP now has this time to take aim at either Democratic candidate relatively unchallenged. It can build a war chest... it can wait... and watch.

CNN has a great tool online.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/02/29/delegate.counter/index.html

It allows one to allocate remaining delegates in the upcoming contests. Try it. Split evenly, Hillary will be over 100 short, Obama less than 25. He has got good chances. If he can pick up a few more superdelagates than Clinton, or if his margins hold, it will be even closer.

However, if I were Obama, I would hold my course. 25 is an awful small number. A slight swing your way, and you have got the nomination. It will be easier for you to change 25 delegates minds, than Clinton's 100 or so.

McCain... use this chance.

Comm 385: The folly of email (week 8)

2008-03-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

Email is a wondrous tool. It allows me to stay in contact with friends thousands of miles away daily, to communicate important messages regularly, and to be notified of critical changes in both work and finances. Email is great - and how I loath it so.

We have become email addicts. We check it several times a day, always like eager puppies waiting to see that bubble, that ding... that mark of new mail indicting someone wants to talk to us. We believe that it is infallible. That all mail sent will be received. That every word written will be understood. In context.

We are fools.

An example from recently:

I am fairly comfortable communicating with those in power above me at this point in my life. Unless asked, I will use the honorific when speaking with a professor while in their class, but will assume to be their peer outside - over ten years of working side by side at the university has given me that. Last term I had a lab course which was somewhat of a chaotic mess. An honors class, we used the same material from the general lab class but without the day to day restrictions on how to proceed - in other words, we could color outside the lines so to speak. The lab instructor was a very highly regarded researcher at the University.

In lab we communicated fine. She was a bit stilted, a bit rough, but I don't feel that we didn't communicate well.

However, it seemed via email, that we were having two entirely separate conversations. She would write me what I thought to be a fairly simple email, and I would respond answering how I thought appropriate... and I would get back a response of disbelief that I hadn't read the previous email? This continued back an forth about assignments, requests, even simple questions. Clarity could be received in person, but by necessity most of our communication had to be done online, and in the end it left us (me certainly) very frustrated.

In a way, email allows for a certain intimacy of thought, of expression. At the end of the lab course, the instructor actually suggested that I not continue with the class sequence the following term. And while it was a sequence that without, my plans of medical school would be hindered and a researcher that I would need to be aquatinted with in future studies; after the frustration of just that term of communication - I agreed. In my response it was almost like a break up, explaining that I felt we just didn't communicate and that it would be better not to work together.

Two people, both accomplished in their own right... but unable to see eye to eye on simple matters. We, to be sure, both had our reasons we felt we were in the right - but the specifics don't matter as much as the results. Miscommunication can change lives. While in no way can I blame this professor for myself not becoming a doctor, in my case it was the straw that made the decision to focus on law school easier. The catalyst. Things needed to flow, and this hiccup in the flow provided a change of direction. And not an unhappy one at that. (I would have made a mediocre physician, but I will make a damned good lawyer)

The folly here though is email. The chink in the armor. Face to face, we had been able to successfully communicate. But for the impersonality of email, the inability to convey tone and judge body language, and the failure to communicate the intent behind words. I could not see her confused disbelief, she could not see my eagerness nor commitment, we both apparently did not read more that the basic words losing context in each message's subtlety.

In the end, they say 'a picture is worth a thousand words'. So too is a face to face conversation.

Comm 385: Generation GAP (week 7)

2008-02-25T13:51:00.000-08:00

Not the jeans.

Seriously, this will have nothing to do with GAP jeans, and the propensity of teen girls to cry desperately to their mother to buy them this particular brand of clothing. Maybe I am out of touch however, since my last image of this was 19 years ago while I watched my two sisters nearly pass out in hysterics over this issue. Maybe now its Abocrombie and Fitch. Maybe Old Navy. I just don't know.

But I am going to be talking (writing) about a 'gap' (notice the lowercase, and lack of any trademark). Why is it important that I distinguish between this, I mean, 'gap' has always meant or been defined as a break or hole in an object or between two objects'. Not always has the word been associated with a midrange clothing store. But today I am discussing an interview with three different friends of mine... and the word 'gap' is going to be very important.

The intent was to interview three age groups. Without getting into specifics: young, middle-aged and old. Why no specifics - because there is a difference in mindset which does not necessarily translate based on age alone. It would have been a matter of triviality to find someone in each given age group who thought and used the internet (our topic de jour) in ways purportedly of another age. Good friends slightly older, hitting that middle group who are fascinated with each piece and parcel of online connectivity, young people too distracted by hormones to care what a blinking box does... no, I separate not by the actual age, but by their general age group. Someone who identifies themselves as middle aged, someone who thinks (and is) far too young for their own good, and someone who considers youth a thing long past. That, and besides the youngest interviewee, nobody wanted their age mentioned. Natch (slang for naturally- I picked it up from, of all things, Frosty the Snowman as read by Jimmy Durante).

The youngest of the trio, a late teenish friend from OSU. To her, the internet is her lifeline. Far from home, the internet is her communication tool for maintaining relationships across the country. Daily she chats with her mother over Skype, teases her boyfriend over IM, and updates her friends via MySpace. Like a "personal assistant", her computer serves her every need - from classwork to shopping, from friends to entertainment; her trusted Dell works through it all. It is on at all hours, and her most frequent companion when running around town or class. "If I don't have my laptop, it's like my world is much smaller". She also finds that she is not sure she would have come all the way out to Oregon if it weren't for the internet - she only even applied to OSU due to finding it online.

Without the same enthusiasm, the internet is greeted by my 'middle aged' friend, who found being labelled middle aged far more disturbing than the potential loss of internet access. "It's a tool... plan and simple. I use it alot (sic), but don't trust it necessarily". Much more embattled, he indicates that the internet is very easy and straightforward to use, but that he just doesn't see the need to use it for everything. "A phone call is better" he explains, (which doesn't explain why I had to email him these questions). He indicated he shopped a lot, used email heavily but rarely chatted online, and didn't bother with social connectivity sites. When asked about his level of comfort using the internet, he wrote back a fairly long diatribe about user interface design and people making things unnecessarily complicated. He then lambasted me a bit (in good fun) for not specifying which application, since the internet is a global connected computer infrastructure, and not a specific tool one would use. He never actually answered, but based on his technical skills, I would say pretty comfortable.

Lastly, I asked an old timer here at work. Forced to use the internet due to the demands of modern educational infrastructure, he wasted no time at all complaining about the lack of personal connection, the inefficiency of email and the idiocy of thinking that everything one sent out on the internet would always arrive. He told tales of people who would call, asking 'Did you get my email' which had been sent just a few minutes ago. He also complained loudly at the requirements to do so many things online nowadays, lamenting when taxes used to be so much simpler to file. "What in the heck has happened to stamps!' he quipped at me several times. Now, to be fair, I chose him to interview because I know how much he dislikes the "damned paperweight on my desk". So, much of this I expected. But I think he is a fair example of someone who had done a job for 35 years before having the paradigm of operation change on him virtually overnight. Only one door down can be found the next generation of scientific researcher - office cluttered with multitudes of powerful computers. The aged researcher complains of the noise and heat generated, and heads down to get more coffee, his email unread in the background. I sit around for a bit before I realize that he isn't coming back all that quickly, and leave - noticing that he has gotten into a debate about space usage with the Director out here, and indicating that he had no intention of trying to send a map of his lab space via email. He retires in a few months, so I think my boss is fighting a losing battle.

Three age groups. I can't help but thing of those who had horses at the early part of the 20th century. Doomed by the advent of the modern automobile, their children would consider horses but a farm tool... to their grandchildren, a pet... while to the last horsemen it was their essential means of travel and a trusted companion. So too has the internet changed our society. Age has little to do with the barrier of connectivity, but it could be said that the propensity to learn new things versus the comfort of tradition influences participation online as much as anything else. My father sends me photos, but can't seem to write more than a word or two via email. My mother, younger, a bit more but it falls to my sisters to actually communicate online with me from time to time. I imagine my daughter will grow up in a world where snail mail is becoming a distant memory, where email is the tool of the 'older' generation, and direct video conferencing via Skype or its replacement is the common paradigm. She will never understand the hesitance of phone calls due to long distance charges, never not be exposed to up to the minute' video recordings of major news events catalogued in massive searchable databases. Even TV, long a staple of defined dates and times is now falling - swept aside by the on demand video and time-shifting recording devices. I realize only now, she will never have seen a dial knob on a TV. Weird.

I make my living supporting technology. I live and die with online innovation - Apple saves me months of frustration, Vista loses me those same months. In my lifespan, I have seen the emergence of the home computer market. I was born near the same time as Apple and Microsoft... with them I have clothed myself, fed myself and bought many a pastel fruit drink guys are supposed to be embarrassed to buy. I see the generational gap (finally, I use the word again) defined so clearly from age to age. Each individual defining their age differently, yet each individual fitting so neatly into a usage category - each defined by not only how, but why we are online. The 'net pervades our lives now. From taxes, to shopping, to dating, to relationships and connections. The flow of data from one point to another finds a path of least resistance among us all. For some, this age will nearly pass us by... for others, we are drowned in the electronic noise. Is it fair to say one group stereotypically defines usage? ...No, but we can point to trends. Younger people have grown up with these tools being the only known way of communicating, so for them it is essential. The older generation have been shown another way, yet move to the point of most effectiveness individually.

Lastly, some of them just think its too damned annoying and want us to get the internet the hell off their lawn. Yes... yes... yes... sorry, it was just a wifi hotspot. :-)

[Politics] Nader is a Republican

2008-02-25T13:23:00.001-08:00

So, I am convinced Ralph Nader is a Republican.

A good Republican. Perhaps the best member of the party currently alive.

Seriously, if I described someone who consistently ensured that the voting electorate for the opposing party was split between its mainstream component and its more far flung constituency, (knowing that American politics is very polarized such that any reasonable split gave a tremendous advantage to the other party) what would you call them? Without question, they would have to be considered a brilliant political asset for the party, a strategist of extreme proportion. An asset. Someone worthy of ensuring their continued success.

Republicans should foot Nader's run...

... since essentially, he is doing the above. Forget Rove... how different would America be today had in Florida in 2000 Ralph Nader not garnered almost 100,000 votes. Those votes, which in such a closely contested election, gave the victory to the conservative party he claims to most directly oppose.

In 2004 he ran again, though 9/11 and subsequent conservative gains created a bit of a backlash by Democrats which decried Nader a 'spoiler' and his vote was much less significant than 4 years prior.

However, here we are on the cusp of another major presidential election. All realistic polling at the moment indicates a very very competitive race. The margin between all potential candidates are at this point within the margin of statistical error.

Nader clarifies that error. His run again tilts the balance towards the Republican party.

It is said that one of the Republican Party's greatest traits is to get the impoverished poor, who rarely benefit from Republican policies, to vote against their own self interest. Perhaps also, it can be said that this should also include getting the extreme liberals to also vote Republican. I mean, THAT is impressive.

Way to go Ralph. Thanks on behalf of the GOP.

[Interlude] The HD war is over...

2008-02-17T13:31:00.001-08:00

SO... Toshiba has thrown in the towel. One monday, when the mainstream press gets ahold of it, you will see cries of 'VHS/BetaMax' comparisons, and 'BluRay defeats HD-dvd'. It was, at this point, writing on the wall.

I picked correctly for the first time. This is surprising as I am a long time picker of the underdog (Mac user for example). However, this time I actually bought the right media, and drive last year.

As my daughter would say 'Yippee Hurrah!'

Partly, MS was supporting HDdvd, so naturally, I found their motives suspect. Partly as BluRay had affiliation with Apple, which tends to make neat products. And finally, it came down to practical storage conclusions - BluRay is bigger.

Personally, I think the only chance HD had once Sony put the BluRay in the PS3 was for MS to put one in the Xbox. The PS3 has sold 10 million units.Toshiba has sold less than 1 million HD players. Had the Xbox 360 had them, the war would still be on.

Why? There is no compelling reason to update as of yet. So, we sat content to stay with standard DVDs until a clear winner was chosen. However, if you happened to have bought a PS3, well as an added bonus, you had a High Def player for BluRay so why not try it out... buy a disk or two (I certainly did, bought Planet Earth and Blade Runner when they were on sale).

In the end, this choice came down to convenience. So many business products do. Toshiba didn't make it convenient. At cost, they could have paid MS for 3 million of the units free in the Xbox 360... maybe more.

Sometimes, it is all about marketshare.

COMM 385: Obama and being a Republican (week 6)

2008-02-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

Mental note: It is amazing how strongly the words 'Democrat' and 'Republican' can conjure imagery nowhere CLOSE to the actuality of their party's beliefs or policies.

This week in COMM 385, I was to join an internet community that I wasn't a part of previously. I thought about getting a WOW (World of Warcraft) account, but figured that the last thing I needed to be doing was playing videogames.

Thus, I joined a political forum - discussing and supporting the Obama candidacy. I very quickly realized that you could modify your 'about me' settings, and set mine to 'Republican'.

THIS was a mistake.

I have found over the years my fellow Americans to be very accepting. Maybe its just growing up in the Pacific NW, but I and my friends considered those who were in exclusive or even bigoted groups as pretty much idiots. I acknowledge that I am a male WASP, so that experience may be very different for those of differing backgrounds (technically, I am 1/4 Hispanic but that just gives me a better tan really, as I have no other distinguishing features). Basically, this is to say I just don't see a lot of prohibitory bias.

Until I joined this group.

Don't get me wrong, these are good people. These are our neighbors, our friends, and our leaders. However, there is an essential 'mind melding' which seems to dominate the community. And it didn't take more than a few minutes to run afoul.

At first I stayed back and simple just read the messages. It's called being a 'lurker'. However, at one point people commented on the recent SIEU endorsement of Obama, and (being a member of that Union) I commented that I hadn't seen a lot of opportunity for local input about candidate choices. Now had I had the 'Democrat' flag on my 'about me', I expect I would have gotten a different response; but listed as a Republican... well, I was roasted alive. A baby killer, a war monger, a gun nut (none of which I am, since I am ProChoice, in favor of a pullout from Iraq, and not interested in the NRA). However, no rationality existed. Even in face of a well reasoned statement, which is in every single way true - the response was direct and upfront criticism.

So, I lurked for some additional time, until I found another subject in which I felt I could contribute. Nope... again, I was lambasted for not being 'Liberal' enough. My rational proposal concerning the realistic economics of social security and debt was considered an attack, and I was quickly flagged as a 'troll' (someone seeking to cause disagreement and controversy in an online community). Only one person in about 50 responses noted that my position was IDENTICAL to Sen. Obama's. Only one.

The arrangement for discussion in the forum is not much different from any online text discussion group. Similar in fact to our Blog's comment section. Each person, back and forth, typing responses to each other, or to posts long since hidden by the multitude of answers. Somewhere along the line someone will make a comment slightly off topic, and the momentum of the discussion will invariably get derailed as others seek to comment on the previous comment. List moderators, usually volunteer members with lots of time and opinions on hand, keep the discussion peaceful by deleting inappropriate comments (mainly foul language or personal attacks). This of course, did not help me. Republicans, or those foolish enough to claim to be, are the enemy this election year. I was persona-non-grata from the start.

I was never, over the next three weeks, able to establish any meaningful back and forth. The personal bias against the perceived enemy prevented any reasonable dialog about the issues. Even if I got one or two decent responses, they were quickly drowned out among the flood of insults and flames (posts meant to attack the other's comments).

Whyte called it 'groupthink'. It is the most dangerous aspect to the global internet community as a whole. The overall conformity to the perceived created boundaries without critical discourse or examination. I don't think it is pervasive, but it exists anywhere where a specific niche is established. Societal issues aside, a system creates the 'knows' and the 'know nots', and only those in the former are allowed to play.

Does this somehow make the supporters bad? No. America loves partisan politics - even while claiming that the solution to government is to eliminate partisanship. We love choosing. It is our fundamental right.

But can we do so with an open mind? Without labels? Among a group of people all about 'Change' online... not so much.

[interlude] Economics of drink, Running for office and a bigger boat

2008-02-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

So, I want to start off saying goodbye to Roy Scheider. One of the few actors which, onscreen, always brought it all. I think the role I will always remember best is that of Heywood Floyd in '2010'. As well, Congressman Tom Lantos died. I think it says a lot about our country when a destitute survivor of the nazi Holocaust can come to America, earn an education and end up serving in congress for 14 terms. Salute.

Speaking of Political Office - Congresswomen Hooley (Oregon 5th) has decided not to run for office again. I am not in a place where I could unfortunately, but I cannot tell you how badly I wish I could contend this spot. I think, especially now, that leadership is direly needed at the Federal level. A few years later, a few dollars in savings more and I would be running. I don't have a perfect background, and I am not a perfect person - but I'd do my damnedest to get the US going back in the right direction. And most importantly, I believe in one core principle of politics: vote and act is if it is your last term in office - if you are truly serving your constituents, trust them to keep you there - but get things done as if it is your only chance.

I have been spending a lot of time in the last two days thinking about drinks. I read an article, and followed it up with a number of articles which discuss vitamin enriched beer. Not entirely a new concept, I am curious why it hasn't caught on. Now, to be sure, craft beer (i.e. Microbrews) tend to have been brewed in an older style much more likely to be close to the original beer (i.e. liquid bread) and thus already have quite a few nutrients. However, you lose significant amounts of vitamin B12 while drinking, and I am curious as to the taste and effect of supplementing beer with these and other ingredients which while possibly effecting taste, might greatly improve the value (or at least slight mitigate the damage) of drinking a beer. I should note, that I have a Kegerator at home, but gave up beer last summer in a quest to help lose some unwanted weight. (exercise seems to be my weak point, which I am now trying to work on)

Anyways, as I was thinking about these things, I got curious on the costs of the liquids I drink. It was NOT satisfying. Here is a breakdown (all values are in Pints):

Water - $0.01 (mainly do to the cost of the filter)

Crystal Light - $0.15 (almost zero nutritional value... essentially flavored water)

Bottled Water - $0.16 (generic Safeway brand)

Pepsi - $0.44 (I don't drink pop)

Apple Juice - $0.63 (Western family vitamin C fortified)

Milk - $0.70 (fat free, ultra-pasteurized)

Oregon Juice - $0.90 (Florida Natural)

Chocolate Milk - $0.90 (darigold again like the milk)

Beer - $1.00 (Widmer Hefeweizen from Keg, similar cost for other micros)

Mocha - $1.25 (homemade with all costs included- cups, lids, ilk, choc, coffee)

Bottled beer - $1.51 (again micro without deposit)

Margarita - $2.05 (using Jose Cuervo and sadly half of the pint is ice)

Wine - $3.78 ($6 bottle of wine - don't be snobby, $6 buys some damn decent wines)

So... in all of these, you can in fact go somewhat cheaper. And in many cases, you don't drink a 'pint glass' of wine etc. But, often we forget the costs associated with our common actions. I'll give you an example. Say I have a mocha every weekday morning, a glass of milk with dinner, a bottle of beer and a margarita on the weekend, and a bottle of wine over the course of a month.

In between, I drink water (which I will ignore) and crystal light (2/glass a day).

In the average month:

Mochas $1.25 x 20 = $25

Milk $0.70 x 30 = $21

Beer $1.51 x 4 = $6

Marg. $2.05 x 4 = $8

Wine $6 x 1 = $6

Cryslght $0.15 x 60= $9

Total beverage budget = $75

So my beverage budget would be $75. That doesn't seem so bad I guess. But, that is pretty much a minimum. Kinda sad when one considers their overall monthly food costs budget. For example, mine is roughly $200... and apparently I would spend 3/8 of it on beverages at minimum.

This exercise is good for seeing where to cut. Coffee and milk.

COMM 385: The InterWeb and Tubes (week 5)

2008-02-11T07:52:00.000-08:00

Someone once likened the internet to huge tubes running everywhere. As a politician, he got a ton of flack, but I think maybe a bit undeserved. In my job as a Network Analyst, I regularly get queries telling me that the Internet is down, or that they want to save the internet on their computer. Frequently, I have to use the exact tube analogy to put the internet in perspective to less common users. Recently I am having an argument with a staff member who put a site online, realized it was not right, and took it down only to have found that Google has created an archive of the content and that various web archive projects will forever keep it as an 'image' of what was online at that time. He doesn't understand that once online, like a virus, data will be replicated as long as there is interest. Even if wrong, the 'net has a memory.

This week in Comm 385, I am to compare and contrast online vs offline sources of information, and more importantly how the act itself, between the discovery of the two data types, differs (i.e. getting off one's butt to actually go read something on paper).

This is actually kind of an interesting idea. Like last week, when it was determined that putting something on paper (vs. online) definitely changes the content, I believe this week my answer in some ways will be very opposite. For example, I am reading the dreaded 'How the Internet was born' articles at the moment. Plenty of offline and online sources for both. I can quickly find three fairly obvious online records which contain similar details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Internet

http://www.livinginternet.com/i/ii.htm

http://www.walthowe.com/navnet/history.html

In the same vein, running over to the local library I was able to grab three physical texts with also similar information;

History of the Internet - Sherman, 2003

The Internet Revolution - Okin, 2005

Casting the Net - Salus, 1995

The key here in both regards is 'similar'. There is a bias in education to believe that peer review journals are a superior supply of informative. However, unlike such unreliable sources such as Wikipedia, journals have one prime disadvantage - their information is immutable. It is 'what is understood' at a very specific period of time. Only a new article or book can replace that which has gone before. So, all six of the above sources had slightly differing accounts of how the internet came into being. The author's ideology, and particular technological bent (and level of understanding) plays a particularly important factor, as does the effort and quality of the effort of which was placed on the work.

In the comparison of the two, I found inconstancies among the texts, in themselves... and the online sources. Truth depends not on the weight of the text, but on which author is trusted as the most reliable or at least reviewed.

However, though our biases may preclude and unlike the handwritten note into which so much effort results in superior content, the online records have somewhat the advantage - specifically the much maligned Wikipedia. Full of misinformation to be sure, it is much more likely to contain extra detail from the myriad of contributors, some of who likely lived through the events, as well as historically corrected data than the three texts. As more information is discovered and discussed, new books can be written, but the original link of online material (or better, a new search using a holistically adaptive search engine such as Google which allows social relevance ranking) will reveal the new information faster and in a more accommodating fashion than physical print. At the same time, the very act of having to leave our chairs to seek the data contained in those prior mentioned physical books diminishes our interest in using them, as we have become accustom to this 'instant access' paradigm.

It is easy to claim that this is subjected to no real documented peer review, but a real argument can be made that peer review is not all its cracked up to be. Just last year, a team of scientists submitted articles computer generated to use sophisticated algorithms to generate text full of fancy buzzwords, arcane and obcure technological references and no real content. These papers of gibberish were accepted. Peer review can be as suspect as review of the masses.

This creates a very interesting possibility. The replacement of the printed scientific journal may need to give way to a more formal online review process where authors and editors are credentialed. Otherwise, the online sources such as wikipedia have an advantage over even the most highly respected journal - publication time. And in this world of JIT (just in time) society, waiting several months for a correction to be printed may be too late. Instead, authors may find that creating and monitoring a 'Community based' source like Wikipedia to in fact become the superior source of reliable data. Educators despise it, but for all of its faults it contains, much like the destroyed Great Library at Alexandria, the bountiful store of information of our time. Because...

Information changes. It is fluid. It flows... through tubes apparently!

[Political] Insomnia and Super Tuesday...

2008-02-06T00:14:00.000-08:00

New Mexico.

As I write this, the NM papers are reporting a 100 vote difference with 98% reporting. Fox and CNN are still back at 45%. Not sure why.

We learned some things tonight.

First... Ambian (or the generic Zolpidem) doesn't work worth a shit. Taken as directed, and 2 hour later, I am still groggily up. Ugh... I hate not being able to sleep. My daughter is sick though, so I have to stay somewhat awake. Someone has to scare away the closet monsters.

However, it has been interesting election night. I love elections. The battle, the speculation.

On the republican side, Huckabee has a chance. He cannot win the general election as the Presidential candidate. He can't win the primary. McCain is too far ahead. BUT... he could end the GOP race tomorrow. The GOP could have a month start AT LEAST on the real race. All he would have to do is call his friend McCain, and they are friends, call McCain and offer his delegates for the VP spot. It gives McCain a strong conservative candidate to back his candidacy. It ends the GOP race on the spot. It allows all the money needed to go forward to start looking at the real election. McCain/Huckabee '08 good ticket. I like McCain.

On the Democratic side, it's neck and neck. Clinton is politics as usual. She will fight and play partisan politics in Washington. Obama is change. He will step outside, and for better or worse, there are things which need a shakeup to ever change. Social Security, Healthcare... the Clintons had their chance, and they blamed partisanism. They will again. That is how you get power. Obama might screw it up, but he will work to find something new... things will change. Clinton is institution, Obama is movement. Its neck and neck. Edwards doesn't give either a huge boost - he can't get his own state, so he doesn't give the party much. A strong Dem in California or Florida is probably either's best bet for the White House.

From my point of view, McCain is more willing to cross the party lines than Clinton. So... I'll vote Obama... then McCain... then Clinton given the options. I don't think after tonight I'll have to go past option 2. I like McCain. He is what i like to call myself, a liberal Republican.

So.. no more from NM til tomorrow. 98% with less than 80 votes separating the candidate.

God I love this stuff.

Comm 385: A letter to the future... (week 4)

2008-02-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

A week... a month... a year.

Words transcend. What I do today will be forgotten in the twilight of my existence. The up and downs of a life matter little to the tides of the sea and the winds on the mountains. Yet words endure. They create the myth of the ages, the fervor of a people. They build dreams, and create unyielding legacies. Words matter long after their spoken sound has long since faded. Scratches on papyrus outlast even the greatest of societies. The word is power.

Today I write two letters. The content is the same... roughly. We choose to say different things in different ways when a different medium is chosen. The sentiment similar, the words end etched on and in different worlds. The content personnel, I send both to those I know will understand the medium. For each letter takes a different path, chart a different course of existence. Each reader lives in a different plane of this new modern world. One of the old, one of the new. And while to each I say the same to each... the fate of both is a millennia of difference.

In one I am brief. It is electronic, and flies across the electronic wind to its destination. Its contents however are able to contain the same words as the one I scratched on pulped wood, and placed in a glue sealed envelope. In this electronic treatise, I am witty... the luxury of a spell check and the delete key allow for my 'words' to be specifically chosen. I know it will be read on an electronic screen, I know it will be filed on a platter of silicon and last only as long as it is backed up. Eventually its grave will be a spinning wheel of metal clashing against the forces of Newtonian might.

In the other I am direct, wit lost to the permanence of the dye. A mistype is an incorrect jester of the hand, a unintelligible scrawl. The mistakes are viewed as sloppiness, the intent disrespect. I must be verbose, as the heft of the message itself means as much as some of the words. And I must be careful, for unlike its electronic counterpart, the content will remain frozen... retained... reread. Dyed ink on a fallen tree.

The style of both is unchanged however. Personality, be it on mulch or entered in by moving plastic, cannot be removed from the voice and intent. Few words or many, I sound like myself. Through this, I can see the reaction. I know what, if I spoke instead to them, how the words in each ear would be heard. Try as I might, no medium can change that.

Two letters. Both contain words. To the new world and to the old. And yet, I imagine it will be the next generation which casts off the glued missive, in a bundled collection of a life long since forgotten by age and time. As for the latter sent by the electron postman, its end is predicted in the lifespan's of silicon and ball bearings.

Progress. We continue forward with progress... and in the process, as we attempt to capture these words which flow from our modern tongues, it is the oldest which last the longest. Our words of truth and substance requiring that ultimate human effort of sweat and brow to last the ages. The elegant swirl of the pen.

[Political] Freedom and Captivity

2008-01-25T16:12:00.000-08:00

I think I would fight.

I am reading now about the border being breached allowing thousands of Palestinians into Egypt to buy supplies, most groceries, and I wonder how in the world is this a bad thing. Currently the US state department is putting pressure on Egypt to close the border, but I wonder if half of the problems over there don't come from having borders up all over the place anyways.

Seriously, I understand that there are much more complex issues at hand, sovereignty and the like. But how in any rightful sense does a people stand to be 'walled in'. We keep hearing of Gaza being 'closed'. The day I was told Oregon would be closed is the day that I would break my heart upon the wall until either it or I fell. Based on our founding principles, I can't imagine any group of Americans tolerating such a situation. I am ex-military. I know what it means to be willing to sacrifice, I know what is at stake.

So how do we stand behind those in other countries who build these walls? In the past it has been an irrational fear of alternative economic systems (if you think Communism is about governing, you haven't read enough - Democracy, Communism, its all about Economic Policy - the rest is just window dressing). When do we stand up and force the players to start actually solving the issues instead of allowing the claim of religious freedom and persecution to excuse the power grabbing which has been happening since WWII.

There are many wronged parties, and much work outside of simple walls that needs to be done. But for now... TEAR DOWN THE GODDAMNED WALLS!

Freedom cannot grow in any form if caged.

[Interlude part 2 - the facebook rants]

2008-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

So, in keeping with moving previous blogs over to one easy to find location, here are distant rambling of a delusional mind from my facebook page. I am starting these in late 2006, and running up til nearly present. Again, this is not Comm 385 related for you poor souls who are reading my blog due to class; you have to suffer enough of my babble as it is. Also, advice, skip the first one, its a bunch of crap about my major which essentially doesn't apply. Law school here I come.

From Facebook:

Odd major musings...
9:25pm Wednesday, Dec 6, 2006

I just wrote to an advisor about what the heck I am doing in school, and I figured it was as good of an explanation as any to the question I get about my major. Just to warn you, this is very self centered and boring unless you are as 'retentive' about your degree as i am. So, here goes...

----

I am currently a Computational Physics Major and a Business Finance Major. As a third option, I am attempting to pickup the courses necessary to do either Nuclear Engineering(I was a nuke in the Navy, so i have a fair bit of preliminary coursework waived) or Radiation Health Physics, but you since cannot declare three majors at OSU - I just have to wait until graduation. Unfortunately, NE is a bit tricky to schedule, so I am seriously considering (given the number of Chem courses i have to take anyway) dropping that in favor of Chemistry. I could still get some of the Nuclear courses I would like with Chem and PH, and importantly, not spend an additional year with scheduling issues. (the Bchem& Bphysics option is also a bit interesting, but at some point, it all gets a bit silly - you would not be the first to say i passed that point a while ago)

The reason all of this makes some sort of perverse sense is my job. Since I work 40-50 hrs a week at HMSC, I am limited to usually just a couple afternoons a week I can spend on main campus taking courses. This would be perfect if coursework scheduled around me, but as that is incredibly not the case, I frequently find I am left driving over to campus to take ONE class (most of my bacc core was finished quickly online a year ago). Since little in my fields are available online, it makes sense that in the same protracted time it would take to, say, get a physics degree, that I add something else. Business fell easily into that mold, as it never hurts to have a background in finance and accounting. That still left an opportunity to pick up other coursework, so I decided that adding a third field made sense. Between the three, what should have taken my 5 years for one degree (well science degree... you can do a business degree in three years, two if you try - even with my schedule) will take me six. I'll end up with three degrees from the honors college, as well as possibly the Biology degree depending on how I spend my summers, as well as a couple minors if I feel motivated.

I am in roughly my second full year of this plan, with over a 3.75 gpa, so i feel it is pretty doable. Long term scheduling has unfortunately proved fairly unrealistic however, so things as always remain fairly fluid for now. And yes, part of me each term just thinks 'damn the torpedos, just finish the business degree and be done'. But, as long as work is supportive out here, it seems foolish not to try and live up the potential my father always pestered me about. And anyway, I already have a good job - I might as well shoot for the moon. :-)

Drama, drama, drama...
9:22pm Tuesday, Jan 2, 2007

I have no use for drama in my life.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the theatre. I mean, I'd be gay if I didn't like women so much, that is how much I love the theatre. (yes, horrible gay stereotype, sorry Vince, not so sorry Gary - you almost killed yourself getting that part in CSI Miami) (it just occured to me they are both on MySpace not facebook - oh well)

Anyways, no, the drama of which I speak is the 'Oh my god, X just slept with Y' or 'My X event in life has caused Y' or 'X is out to get me' or whatever the hell else drama fills peoples voids.

That what it is: voids. People with Drama just are not busy enough. Seriously, there are 3 billion of the opposite sex, if your SO cheats on you, find another one. If your family member/pet dies... well heck, its gunna happen to everyone. If your prof failed you cause they don't like you... well, its cause nobody likes you - get over it. :-)

Seriously, this shit happens to everyone. My friend Cleven had a good friend of his hacked up in front of him with machetes - 'YOU' do not have problems. I have never seen Cleven complain, or not smile daily. My friend Miguel - lost both his legs train jumping on his way to the US from Mexico, and still feels blessed to be here.

People with Drama in their lives... need to be busier. I mean, if you are taking a full load, working full time, serving your community and raising a kid then you can talk - but if not, there is not enough drama in the world that I am going to have time for.

So, if you life is boring enough that you need to create drama - get busier. MUCH busier. Life has enough real shit happen without sweating the small stuff. Put it in perspective and bloody move on.

And yes, intel girl, this is for you.

The dreaded 14th...
6:06pm Tuesday, Feb 13, 2007

Foolish foolish people sit all around me having dreadfully dull first dates. I am sitting here waiting for a meeting to start in the MU, and I can tell by the inflection and tone of the two couples next to me in the cafe-like tables, that they are on first or second dates. The men, bragging and foolishly talking about themselves instead of their partners. One women, cute, arms folded as if already anouncing that this will be the LAST date the for the not so aware gentleman. The other women, a more desperate lonely look on her face - the guy clearly an idiot, as so many of us are, but I get the sense that she is more willing to accept less than she should.

Is it that the dreaded date of infamy is less than 6 hrs away? The day that reminds us whether we are the loved, or the forelorn? God knows that this same awareness of these poor souls plight is often lost on myself when I try the same, but still there is some simple pity for the desperation to not be alone tomorrow evening.

Me, I have a date. She is two... well, 2.5 now, and pretty darned cute. After picking her up from daycare, our evening will be spent making cupcakes and trying desperately to keep her from running her chocolate covered hands all over the couch. Then a wonderful Cinderella movie, followed by what is sure to be a long couple hours of convincing her to not climb out of her crib. Finally, she will drift off into a sugar induced coma about ten, and I will collapse on the chocolate covered couch, leaving the dishes for a quiet morning.

These foolish people... they have yet to learn what the 14th is all about. Heck, it took me til 2.5 years ago.

home ownership
6:56pm Wednesday, Feb 21, 2007

I bought my first home when i was 25... I actually signed the day before my 26th birthday just so I could say I bought it when I was 25.

The house is nice... well, for a first house. The property rocks... and it elevates the house to a long term house for many folks.

But not me. Things inevitably go wrong, and that is what is starting to happen now. Sewage pumps break down (luckily, I put in a stop-cock years ago (somewhere Beavis and Butthead are laughing)), roofs need new shingles, trees fall over, and houses settle producing cracks that stare at you late at night to remind you that all the money you earn flows from your wallet into this place where you live.

Now, property has value... or at least it did. I got my place for a little over $100k and now its worth much much more, but still... mortgages.

I miss the days of a landlord. Someone I could just call when something was wrong, and would fix it without it somehow magically costing me $200 a pop.

My college friends all look forward to growing up... and believe me, most of it is cool (well, meetings seem to be everyone's favortite acivity, but if you can get past that...) but I must say, when I head to grad school, be it law or medical or whatever hair brained idea interests me at the time, I think I'll rent for a bit. (at least while the bubble is bursting)

Now, i'm off to scrub the stench of sewage off my skin with iron wool... I figure, scrub til you bleed means you're clean. :-)

Money is like a drug...
11:59am Tuesday, Mar 6, 2007

I hate my job. Well, no I like my job...

But I am going back to school to be able to move on to something less 'computer fixingish'. Don't get me wrong, I like computers, but my days as a NetAdmin are needing to come to a close. It was a good career, but I want more excitement out of life than being intimate with Vista can offer.

BUT... I keep getting raises. I now make more than a lot of jobs with degrees offer, and it makes it harder and harder to imagine walking away from work to go to medical or law school. Even my nuerosurgical bud in his residency makes considerably less. Going to grad school, even if well paid, would be a pay cut.

"Just when I think I am out... they pull me back in." Its hard to give this stuff up. That is how they keep you. They pay you just enough to keep you happy, but not enough to make you too happy.

Crap. If I had a passion for the next career I would be okay. But I have NO CLUE what I want to do after this... just something more. Crap.

Money is like a drug... My friend says this is vainity and to STFU. But seriously this is a problem that I am not sure what to do about. Crap.

Found my birth mom...
1:26pm Tuesday, Mar 13, 2007

So... I found my birth mom. Not sure what to do now.

I was born Baby Boy Shamp in Coos Bay, Oregon. A couple years ago, OR passed a law allowing adoptees to get original copies of their birth certificates. So, I know only that her name is Wendy Diane Shamp - no father listed.

After searching for a bit, I am pretty sure that Wendy lives in Hawaii (age and middle name match). I could still be wrong, but to find out - I gotta make a call or send a message. That opens up a whole can of worms.

What the hell to do...?

Changing majors... bye bye physics
7:44am Friday, Apr 27, 2007

So... Physics is history. I love physics, but not at OSU. They have a paradigms sequence which sits right in the middle of the day 5 days a week, which is impossible for a working student/parent.

Enter, BioChemistry and BioPhysics. So cool, so sexy... and a good way to cover most of the stuff I am intersted in. It also means that my thrid major, NukeE will probably change to Radiation Health Physics instead (So I have got to stop teasing those folks as wimpy NukeEs). Fits better, and bamm... all of a sudden I am looking much more heavily at Med school.

he he... Dr. Dann... yeah... that is just SO not a good idea.

Espresso
6:15pm Tuesday, Sep 11, 2007

So... I drink coffee now.

This is actually a big issue. I have for years and years forsworn coffee as that for the 'weak of waking'. Seriously, I have gotten up at around 0600 for years and always with a smile on my face. But, I haven't been sleeping well recently, and honestly there is a difference between 0530 and 0600... and an early start will be mandated this next year for an insane 0800 Ochem course. That last 30 minutes is the killer.

Seriously though, the main reason is that in the world of $4 cups of coffee, I saw Starbucks had for sale the type of machine that does just about everything but smoke the cigarette afterwards for you. From $1200 down to $450, its one of those 'all in one' machines which basically simulates having a full time barrista in the house. It takes about two minutes from start to first shot of espresso.

Interesting aside before I get my coffee geek on. As I was buying the machine and negotiating a further discount, my friend David was busy saving some guys life. An older gentlemen had fallen and was having some complications, and this very attractive girl came in to ask for help. Now, I could not have done much, but David is a neurosurgeon, so damned lucky for the guy. Somehow though there is some evil dichotomy of negotiating for an extra $50 off while your buddy saves a life.

So, back to 'Good Eats'. Or as it were, Espresso. I had recently watched Good Eats with Alton Brown about espresso and was interested in some of the mechanics of the process. Essentially, a good espresso is created by 9 bar pressured hot water pushed through a densely packed puck of finely ground beans. The process should take about 20 seconds and yield three distinct layers in a clear 1 ounce shot glass.

Looking at the equipment, you need a vacuum pump driven barrista (for good water pressure), a conical burr grinder (for consistent density of grounds) and a lot of superfluous extras. I could have gone a bit cheaper (not much though, as a good grinder is about $200 and unless you find the right barrista you are looking at another $200 to $400 for a decent machine). All in all though the Delongi Magnifica 3400 (the beast i bought) seems to have the best mixture of both, and as a bonus, does most of the work for you. This is in fact the interesting part for me. There is an entire Willy Wonka like process which occurs in this machine to produce this one ounce shot. Kinda cool... and thus my fascination.

Now, Espresso is nasty. Seriously, coffee is not something that any sane person not hopelessly addicted to caffeine can possible think tastes good. However, add a bit of steamed milk, some cocoa powder, maybe an odd flavoring here or there, and now you have got a pretty decent morning beverage with a legal stimulant which, according to David again, has some marginally decent heart benefits. All told, I estimate my drinks at about 120 calories, and 58 cents.

The coffee business definitely has some profit margins!

Lastly, while they last, Starbucks is blowing some of their machines out at pretty decent pricing. For those more inclined, some digging might find you their $99 barrista model which is, all told, supposed to be a damned fine machine though you'll need to grind and pack your own puck. Or for $450 (or less, employees get a discount which you can often get them to give you a portion thereof) you can buy the beast Delongi. Pretty cool really.

Now if I can just get rid of the damned jitters...

Why I won't vote for Hillary...
8:26pm Friday, Jan 18

SO... this is not about politics. Its about choice. I am not going to go all pro and con, Democrat and Republican, etc etc.

This is about a direct reason.

Today the Nevada courts agreed to allow Casino caucusing. This allows the thousand some casino employees who could not leave work to have a voice.

To anyone who is a fan of democracy and the voice of the common man, this is a victory. To anyone who feels like the working man does not have a strong enough voice, this is a victory.

Clinton called it unfair. Unfair. She felt it was unfair that a huge portion of workers she claims to defend and support would be able to voice their opinions. Unfair because it just so happens, many might support her opponent.

It is clear Clinton is NOT about choice. And certainly not about change.

Just a few hours later on NPR, when Clinton was asked about raising the limit on income taxed by social security, she said she would not commit to anything and certainly not a new tax on, as she put it 'medium income families'. She then went on to describe the people who under her description were median income - those making over the cap at $90k. Medium income? What this is talking about is having the payroll tax we all pay apply to the income of earners of more than $90k and up to $200k. Right now those above $90k pay only on that capped amount. Low six figures is NOT middle class... unless you are a Clinton.

While I am fiscally conservative, I am also socially quite liberal. I want to vote for a democrat this election (as I have the last 3). But I can't for Clinton, for these blatant examples (and sadly more as I look closer, including her very revisionist history of her stand on the war - my god, I can still google the websites in which she is quoted contradicting herself) are a prime example of what is wrong in politics.

Leadership is about trust. And as much as I like the idea of a woman in office, and as much as I want a socially liberal leader to heal much of what has been damaged in the last 8 years of arguably the most ludicrous administration since Taft, I WILL NOT vote for Senator Clinton. Her truth is about getting elected. Her truth is about acquiring power. I just can't trust her.

[interlude]

2008-01-25T13:31:00.000-08:00

So, this is officially my new blog location. Seems a decent interface, works better than Facebook, and most importantly, has a nice URL. Lame criteria huh. Well, I am rocking out to Kansas (long story) so I am indifferent to much the world has to offer at the moment. I am a bit bummed that as I type this the Monte Carlo in Vegas is burning. I like that place. Good blackjack tables. And a microbrewery.

However, I do have some blog stuff to copy over, so his won't be related in any way to the COMM 385 class that started all this. What follows is some old blogs from myspace.

From Myspace:

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Deleting MySpace...?

I periodically consider deleting this site. I am not, as such, a huge fan of myspace. It seems to be primarily filled with folks 'pimping' themselves, or 15 yr old girls and boys acting like they are 30 (or, often enough, the opposite). And far too many people who should be keel-hauled over their own myspace layout. Finally, the number of requests I get from pornstars needing me to buy something or look at their website is almost as bad as spam - and i am constantly amazed at how often others have them listed as 'friends'. Trust me, it is a fat guy in Altoona selling sugar pills.

In my case, I set this up as a social networking tool, and really haven't found it that useful for that. Most of the people I know, I know... I email on a regular basis, and/or, see in other settings. My generation seems to be the last of the 'pre-myspace' folk, and few have a page. So, I keep seeing little use for it.

With one exception. It seems that just about when I decide to pull the plug, someone from out of the blue writes me I haven't heard from in years. Recently, it was my first real girlfriend. Now, I basically had lost touch with her after our brief thing, and other than a call once in college, had no clue what had happened to her. Reason enough to keep the site... I don't know.

Does the possibility to reconnect with one's past, justify the time and effort to maintain an artificial connection to the present?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Medical School...

I have no desire to go into medicine.

Well, that is not entirely true. I have a desire, but having just watched David go through it, I have what can only be described as self doubt.

I mean, f--k it is a lot of work. And I am lazy. Well, kinda. I tend to do what I like, damn the torpedos. (aside - 'damn the torpedos' was said back when torpedoes were basically kinda unreliable mines; today's torpedos can tear an aircraft carrier, the length of three football fields constructed of megatons of aluminum, steel and iron, into tiny pieces. Damn torpedoes more like it!)

But I have no idea what i want to do with my life. It seems to change with each month. What sounds amazing for a while is soon drown out by the posibility of something else.

But, I am starting core bio next week... and every summer for the next four years of college will be dedicated to courses to allow me to take and pass the MCAT with flying colors. Maybe that is all i need. To know I could have gone, and turn my attention elsewhere... but then again... there is the money. Shamefully, I like money.

Choices choices choices...

Same Day

*!&!^.$ Identity Theft

Must kill. Or at least seriously wound. Or, sadly, say nasty things about.

Last saturday I got a call that my debit card had been 'skimmed' and was being used to purchase over $7500 worth of stuff in Japan. This means someone in my stupid town ran it through a skimmer before ringing up a real purchase, and then sold or traded the number online.

Now I am not actually out $7500 (and no, I did not have the whole $7500 in checking anyways, but it was after payday - at least my mortgage came out first). But son of a... if it didn't take a whole lot of time and effort to make it right. And, these companies are dumbasses. Why, in the name of all that is holy, would they allow someone to order $7500 worth of stuff online without any security check.

This sucked. Nothing is worse than seeing yourself thousands overdrawn.

As I have said since High School - Trust NO ONE!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Out damned spot...

So... I have nothing to say.

Seriously. If you are reading this you could be doing so much else with your life. Exploring a great new wilderness and/or magnificent vista, rafting down untamable rapids, meetings that Mr. or Miss. Right - or better, Mr. and Miss. Right-Now!, making millions in the stock market, taking a college class or even better, spending time with friends and family.

Instead, you are reading the nothing I have to say.

This just means that the IQ test you took 'oh so long ago' which told you that you had a brain cell or two was wrong. You are undoubtedly a foolish imbecile as you are still reading this. I bet you expect me to come up with some profound piece of wisdom at the end of this, somehow making the 30 seconds of your life you have spend thus far worth it. Nope. You have just wasted this time. I have stolen it, and am now mocking you.

Oh, okay, I'll say something. TUNA!

See, now you are wondering what insightful piece of wisdom can be found in tuna. There is none. I haven't eaten lunch and am just craving a tuna sandwich. And not that wussy tuna one gets from the can of bumblebee you landlubbers pay far too much for. No, I am talking the 'sliced off the fish, can smell the ocean while you mix it' type tuna we get out here on the Oregon Coast. The type of tuna which could substitute for a steak in other dishes.

Now, I have said something. Utterly unimportant, but something to at least make you think 'humm, tuna does sound good'. Hah, I only have one can, and its MINE... oh wait, my daughter ate it. Crap. So now I am back to being hungry again. I had a Blueberry Barbecue Salmon Salad yesterday which was to die for. It was actually quite healthy, which has got me thinking I need to eat healthier. Then last night I ate a veggie lasagna. Also healthy... and now you are reading me talking about what I ate. Aren't you bored yet?

This is what happens when classes are over for the summer. I am just not quite sure what to do with myself. Yes, there is always yard-work, there are more fruit trees to be planted since I somehow have the mistaken idea that fruit trees will somehow magically add value to my home value. Am I selling... not yet, I have to plant more trees!

Seriously, I am a bit torn. I mean, I have my dream property. I really love where I live. I am involved with my community, and I think I even make a difference from time to time. Or at least subjugate my masses to my own dark needs - which sadly involves sensible rural planning and correct building code enforcement. See, even now 'I' am bored.

You should stop reading. Really, I think MacGuyver is on or something. Come on... you need to know how to jury rig a helicopter with a piece of twine and some chewing gum. This is important information, and not impractical like say, oh, the level of debt you are accumulating by spending all of your time watching MacGuyver instead of working that second job.

Do you know that each and every American has $28,000 in consumer debt? Dumb. Not me, not anymore. Of course, I am back in school, so I have a student loan again. Sallie Mae is following me. And of course my house. This is why I am not taking a trip to Grand Cayman this year. That, and I might never come back... I mean, have you seen the pictures of that place. Why would anyone ever leave?

Which gets me back to moving. Should I move? My house kicks ass... but it's far. Far from everything. I drive 80 minutes to get to school. And then 80 minutes again when I come home. That is 160 minutes I could be having wild multi-orgasmic sex - see I had to wake you up, told you I had nothing to say - or 160 minutes I could be making money or studying.

So, do I move? Do I leave a 2.4 acre, private, killer view, custom designed house with everything I want? Besides a pool. I want a pool. I mean, so I live on a hillside. That shouldn't mean I can't put in a pool right? I grew up envying those who had pools... should not my daughter be the envied? Okay, so it might slide down the hill into the slough... the earth might get hit by a tremendous meteorite someday too, but I don't make judgments daily based on that.

Meteorites... astrophysics. Not a lot of money there, but I miss being a pure physics major. Someone who cannot be mentioned as they are in trouble for a milkshake incident asked me recently to give up said major as I was moving more towards law school... but I really like physics. I like the idea that I can walk through a crowded line to the front and say 'stand aside mortals - I am a physicist'. I also like that I know exactly how to calculate how fast I would have to run after pulling something like that.

Speaking of Law School... my law class was a lot of fun this summer, but it seemed too easy. Maybe I am missing something fundamental, but most law is really really straight forward. I think when I get interviewed for Harvard Law and they ask me why I want to go into law, I should say 'Cause it's easy, and since you folks all think it is tough you must all be stupid, ipso facto, I can make a lot of money by suing you'. This will, I am certain, get me admitted instantly. Unless they read my blog. Crap.

And somehow I think I'll have to move to go to Harvard as well. Double crap.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Timing

So... timing is everything. Everything.

First, I figured out that I can rather easily finish my business degree in two years from this point if I wanted to. Two years. I'd be 35, and done. But, I really wouldn't have come close to accomplishing what I really want, which is to have some specific skills which would make me feel like I could take on a cool job elsewhere and be comfortable. I am comfortable here.

So, now it's more like 5 years. Five more years of school... this gives me a Physics, Nuclear Engineering, Finance, and Chemistry degrees. And Biology and Economics if I give up my summers. I'd be 38. But, I would have a kick ass education, allowing me to go to Law School, Med School, or into research and grad school.

But, I could probably get into law school with just my business degree, and I would be a lawyer either way. heck, I would be a lawyer by the time I was 38 as well.

It is not completely about money, though that is a factor. It is more about the type of life I dream about for myself. My self esteem is tied to this a bit. Am I an average lawyer? Or am I someone with TONS of potential who can choose his destiny.

I don't know. Life is stable at the moment (knock on wood). I can continue for the remaining 5 years, and I won't be unhappy... but it means that i'll be over 40 before I have a postbacc of any sort.

So, it is a matter of time. If I was 23, none of this would matter. And maybe I should stop caring whether it matters now. I mean, who cares if i work into my 60s, if I like what I am doing? The plan now is to retire at 55. Does that time matter?

On the other hand, there is a ton of things that matter if you are 33 instead of 23 (and if you don't believe me, sit in a class with 100 20 yr olds, and you will quickly understand). Becoming a Doctor is that much harder. I mean, I would be 45 before I finished my residency. Pretty hard to build a practice in either law or medicine starting in your 40s.

Grad school in any form will be a quality of life hit. I like where I am... I own my newish car outright, I have no credit debt. Heck, by 45, my house will be paid off. Camie wants Kacey to go to kindermusik - I write a check. Hell, I even have a gardener now, bourgeois though that may be.

So, it is all about timing.

....

The 5 years. Silly maybe, but it is what I want in my heart. I will be able to look at myself in the mirror and know I lived the life I wanted. It puts Harvard, Stanford and Yale in play... and makes me forgo the 55 yr retirement... but I will be me. I have to anyways, I turned in my candidacy statement for public office yesterday, so I am running for a 4 year seat - and I am likely to win. So I have to stick around at least that long. And my fruit trees... gotta see how they turn out.

I feel better.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Days and Dates...

This has nothing to do with the blog I am writing but it is on my mind... So, I forgot a good friend's birthday today. Seriously, I don't think either of us really care about those things in particular yet, I still feel bad. What is worse is that we talked a bunch today, and I still didn't remember until I was ready to crash tonight. This, as he would put it, is one of those 'lose social points' things in my head. Oops. I am not sure why this bothers me... when he reads this he will think 'Doofus' and move on. So, as will I...

Anyways, what I really wanted to talk about was dates... in particular, Election Day.

I am, officially, running for an elected office. I will be on the general election ballot for City Council in my town. I am excited by this for two reasons:

1) I really think I can make a difference, and will bring an important voice to the table, and...

2) No one is running against me.

The second is obviously the cool one, since it means that, baring me jinxing it right here, I will likely win. I have been on the Planning Commission for a bit, so this should be a growth opportunity.

Someone asked me if this was all I was really interested in.

Did I want to be a Senator one day?

Nope. This is it. This is where true governing happens. The day to day stuff that effects people next door.

Sure, I think lobbying important issues on Capitol Hill may be one day something I would like to do... but I know personally the compromises that real politicians have to make. Not for me. City Council is honest to goodness American Government... that is exactly what I want. Anything else, and it becomes a different unwieldily beast.

Now Supreme Court Justice... that is another story.

This does bring up an interesting point however... and my lesson to all you folks foolish enough to read my periodic ramblings. It's a quote:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- Margaret Mead

It's easy. More people should stop complaining about the government, and become the government. Otherwise nothing changes. America makes this easy - every couple years.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Friends and age...

So... I can never seem to see one of my friends. He was my first college roommate, and even though he still lives within 4 hours, and throws the same party each year around this time, I can never seem to make it. It is getting kinda silly at this point. I have a bunch of stuff piled up to take to him, and yet, it never seems to get there...

Which brings me to my point of the day. Enjoy the friends you have... as age only make it harder and harder to keep them close. I earn 20 times what I made back at UO, yet getting together with everyone for a beer was trivial then. Now, even though I make plans months in advance, life gets in the way. Responsibilities are the price of growing older... sometimes, it can feel like a hell of a price.

COMM 385: Underwear, Misogyny and Being Me (week 3)

2008-01-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Underwear. Sexy and unwieldily private knickers. Online. It's like living in the co-ed dorms again.

Why is it that it is now easier to see a girl (or guy) in their underwear on Facebook or Myspace than it is in real life? I have this friend who regularly sends me photos of his newest online conquests in vague states of undress. All from their online profiles, which is in many ways I guess what has attract him to them in the first place. And as I flip through the majority of my Facebook pals I see tiny bikini after lingerie shot after sexy pose. Yet, I know these people, if only marginally, and certainly none of them were wearing or doing that near me (which is sadly a topic for another much more depressing blog).

My underwear is green.

So what side do we show ourselves online? A day does not seem to go by where I don't see an article about the perils of online profile 'exposure'. Yet we, and I mean 'we' as in the dumbass generation X, Y and Zers who think having an online profile is somehow important to our social lives... 'we' continue to ignore this advice and post fairly provocative and outlandish things.

Stitch cotton flannel as well, btw.

So, where does this leave us. We are apparently too stupid to head the advice that, for example, while underage one should not post pictures of oneself drinking; or, again, when applying for jobs that a employer might check your facebook site and find the picture of you flashing your bra at a club to be in good taste. (The best is one I saw recently of very nice guy I know and his girlfriend in a dominatrix pose - good luck with Law school there (worse, maybe that will help with being a lawyer)).

A bit worn... I don't buy them often.

So, what is it about our online exposure that is important to us. Is it a secret exhibitionism? Is it a desire to be what we wish we were, but aren't? Is it because we don't have two brains cells to our names? Yup... all of the above. In the same way many of us go through our 'goth' phase, to see what attention it can get, we post things we ought not. We cry 'Look at me, look at me!' We hide those things about us that we wish didn't exist, we promote the things that we wish we could do/say/be in real life, but might not be that outgoing. We create our 'perfect version' of ourselves. For that is the beauty of the online profile. They ability to define who we are in a specific and unambiguously perfect way - reality be damned.

One small tear on the bottom, I think a stitch is coming out.

And therein lies the key... 'reality be damned'. The WWW is a 'Virtual' environment. People forget that just because they see something online doesn't necessarily make it so. For companies, it is the perfect corporate partner; for sites, the perfect experience; and for MySpace/Facebook users? It's the perfect 'virtual' image of themselves that they want. For some, real life may be such that they don't make much of an effort online. I don't post a lot of pictures, I don't edit or change my page all that much to individualize, don't feel I need to. For others, the time and energy spent on their page is the creation of their virtual expression. I have seen some pages of classmates with over 1000 friends, and hundreds and hundreds of pictures. They have created a virtual 'them' to be proud of.

Boxers. Of course.

But at the same time now we are exposed. Our virtual creation is not just limited to ourselves, but the world at large. We can be conservative and limit this by being private, or we are vulnerable to the elements... for even in a virtual world there are monsters. Our perfect selves attract attention in ways our somewhat flawed reality might not. The misogyny of seeing someone at an intimate moment becomes mistaken for familiarity, and invitation. And while our virtual perfection feels no fear, in the reality of the world today... we do. But somehow being private eliminates the purpose.

So, mostly we are public. We show our virtual face to the entire world... and for the first time, most of the entire world can actually see it. We create now this online village of those we met in a peripheral moment and call them friends. Faces seen once in a class years past are reminded of birthdays, interests and events in your life. We can now internally (and too often externally) 'judge' our own social standing and success, by the number of these anonymous faces.

So our profile acts as our online image to the world. Our virtual Avatar. It represents the myth of self perception... while we flock to worship at its altar of egotism.

And underwear, best not to forget the underwear.

---------

I guess its only fair, my facebook page is: Dann Cutter's Facebook . It's not private, and it's pretty accurate when I remember to update it. Even I am not above this subtle egotism... though thankfully you will find NO underwear at this page. Well, except the ads apparently.

COMM 385: The Shop Around the Big Bang (week 2)

2008-01-21T17:41:00.000-08:00

So... Communications 385 continues.

Drunk.

Well, not drunk per se, but part of my assignment was to watch 'Big Bang Theory' tonight and discuss online implications. Unfortunately, they were mixing drinks, and well long story short (too late) so did I.

Optionally, I was to watch 'You've Got Mail', which I did. However, I felt both shows addressed much of the point of this blog, so I figure I'll spout some random thoughts on both.

Loneliness.

I imagine based on the questions posed by the instructor, that really I should be spending time discussing the difference between online and offline personas. But let's face it, no matter the media - be it computer, be it phone, be it a darkened bar in a distant land... if someone has a distance between themselves and the other person, it gives rise to the ability to restrict inhibitions and both be more honest or more dishonest. In this format, one is able to adjust ones personality to feed the need at the time. In YGM, both are more honest and discuss social awkward situations more intimately or directly than they could face to face. Of course, the whole movie is a setup to show that face to face is better.

On the other hand, had both protagonists just been more willing to actually talk face to face - well, not a very interesting story but a swifter resolution to happiness or misery to be sure. So in essence, these shows both deal with the intellectual equivalent of going to a bar and having a couple drinks.

But to loneliness. Both shows represent one defining theme. Be it the coldness of the partners in the bed next to them who somehow don't 'get' them in YGM to the social awkwardness and isolation caused by increased intelligence in BBT, all of the characters are lonely. Representing, via archetypal stereotypes, distinct but recognizable traits we all find in ourselves, the cast of characters go about their daily lives only able to somehow break free when not confronted by a direct personage. As if face-to-face communication with the opposite sex makes the very act of complex thought something entirely too foreign.

These characters share, in all their traits only one common binding thread. They are lonely. The people, no matter their circumstance, feel that a form of distant communication is by necessity a must and thus proceed to create and expand their world in an impersonal but imminently protectable way.

As an aside, I again must harken back to the early days of the internet. Or home video recorders. Both had a common element which solidified a certain popularity - porn. The online pornography industry is widely credited as one of the major influencing forces in the drive for spread of early internet adopters; its annual show is vegas is only marginally outpaced by the Consumer Electronics Expo (and though they have offered to move its date and location, powerful sales by the same people who drive much of the burgeoning technology market keep it practical to be held on similar dates each year). Thus porn, and by extension, another form of loneliness drives the internet in the first place.

Thus, as easy as it is to dismiss the idea that it all boils down to the loneliness of he characters portrayed, it truly wraps back into the idea that somehow this online vestige is able to supplement and supplant sociality in a way that face to face contact does not. Be it an outlet for courage, a diversion from reality, or just the simple ability to talk to your parents and have them arrange a date form half a world away (as in tonight's BBT) we see the need for the online supplement to our increasingly distanced physical reality.

Even now, instead of enjoying the remainder of a pitchers of margaritas with me, you are reading this; possibly in avoidance of some other interaction. And while you are being graded (or grading for that matter), the skills and familiarity of these online tools come from the desire to decrease this typical loneliness that our modern world has created for us. We are not slaves to the internet by choice, any more than we aren't slaves to our cell phone or our televisions. They somehow give us an outlet... and ability to feel less alone in the dark.

And so our virtual avatars are created. Some online, some by reputation, some even in our own heads to escape the reality we may feel faced with. As social creatures we reach out... via whatever means is accessible. The internet hasn't changed that. It is not unique to being online. We just have a bigger audience.

A bigger world to be lonely in.

COMM 385: Abstinence and Failure (week 1)

2008-01-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

They say the first step in addiction is admitting you have a problem. Well...

I am addicted to the internet.

Now, I am going to spend far too many words justifying my problem.

First, I should point out, I am in fact a Network Analyst. My JOB is to be online, managing a major research program's network. So, being online at least 5 hours during the day is a short day.

Second, I live in a very small town. Very small. At 2000 people, and 20 miles from the next biggest town which is also quiet small, there is a limited amount of social activity or interaction that can take place within a short distance. Or shopping.

I could keep adding numbers and reasons rather trivially; my best friend is on the east coast, I am a student taking online classes, etc etc. But I think you get the gist.

Surprisingly, admitting I have this addition is much like admitting I own a fuel inefficient car. I like to drive. I would drive even if I lived in NYC or SF. Thus, I am not sure I really think internet usage is a problem any more than I think of driving other than a twinge of guilt now and again. (This is also almost certainly a defense mechanism used by addicts - though I find it interesting that this is the second time I am comparing internet usage to alcoholism or drugs).

So, you'll notice that this post is prefixed by COMM 385. I am taking a communication class at OSU which as a first assignment is asking us to take approx. 24 hours off the internet. Surprisingly, this is harder to accomplish than I thought at first. I mean, I could do it... but when?

Weekdays, I work. No chance there. Over the weekend I invariably have at least one day to take 24 hours away from the internet. However, how? Seriously?!

How does one stay away from a readily available source of news and information, programs which filter down hours of reading into minutes of quick study. How does one give up readily available communication with folks who could just as easily call but are used to this non-verbal, spur of the moment, send and forget email tool. And how does one fill the time?

I don't mean, 'Oh woe is me, what will I do, I am so pathetic?' filling of the time. I mean, how does one account for the hour or two one would spend writing friends, shopping, reading the news, comics, planning an outing, etc which happens so very quickly online, but takes significant time otherwise. Seriously, without my internet connection, I might actually have to have a conversation with my mother is she calls... and I just don't have that kinda time. No one does.

So I am concerned. Concerned with how I can realistically spend 24 hours without quickly glancing at my email. Without ponderously glancing at Facebook to see if the cutie I have recently chatted up has actually said anything to me (doubtful). Without checking to see if its going to snow for the playoff game this weekend. Without checking to see if my friends are there?

So there it is. The internet is like that proverbial phone call from the cute girl before prom, letting you know that in fact you are not left without a date. The internet is that self aggrandized social status and acceptance we all strive so hard for both consciously or unconsciously. Frak, maybe I am that pathetic...